Monday, December 3, 2007


Yesterday I happened upon something that was written partially about me, to me it was hurtful and unwarrented. And it was written by someone I trully cared about. Naturally I responded bitterly, and so the story goes our relationship will not be the same.

But that is not the focus of this see I have REALLY been seeking the Lord lately, and for those of you who know me, you know that I have been far from Him for some time because of certain circumstances, not because of things that others have done (small part) but more so things that I have done. However, I have remained somewhat complacent with my life....thats a great way to describe my situation.... here is the definition:

pleased, esp. with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect

Thats the thing....ive been mostly happy with where I was, just walkin along completely happy without the Lord. And then, as things so often do, things started to go wrong....and where do we often look when we are hurting, depressed, in need of comfort that we cant get from others? We look up.....right?

It was then that I realized that I have been missing out on the joy that I used to have in my life when i was wholly devoted to the Lord. I remember the feeling that I had back then and I have been sooo desperate to get that feeling back. But wouldnt you know, the moment I started seeking the Lord again, the attacks got even stronger, and more often....and BOY do they keep comin. thats where the second part of the definition comes in.....not aware of the danger ahead. And I find myself wanting SOOOO badly to give up the fight. But this morning in my inbox (email) I recieved my daily email from Joel and Vicoria Olsteen (i signed up for daily inspirational emails) and it spoke right to my heart. Here is what it said:

"I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy" John 16:22 (NIV).
Your life is probably so fast paced that it seems to be swirling around you at times. In the midst of a hectic schedule, there are plenty of opportunities to lose your joy. But you don't have to let any circumstance rob you of the joy that is rightfully yours in Christ. Once you decide to follow God and listen to Him, alone, nothing can take away that joy that is within you. And when your heart is set on joy, no one can wrestle it away from you unless you allow it. Your enemy is roaming around like a lion - waiting to devour, destroy and rob you of joy (1 Peter 5:8). But he can't steal what Jesus has given to you in the first place. Today's verse is a promise from Jesus, Himself - so hold on to the joy that He has put in your heart!

It made me almost burst into tears, because I knew with what I was dealt yesterday and the days leading up to today, that Satan is trying to steal the joy that is mine. And I am going to do everything I can to keep that from happening.

Satan comes to take away......he will not hesitate to use people u love or care about to make you feel inadequite and horrible about yourself.....before you respond the way that i did, in anger....just remember that God would want you to turn the other cheek, he may not want you to stay in that relationship....but He would want you to be loving, forgiving, and understanding the way that He is.
I love you all!!!!