Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Reasons why I loathe Wal-Mart and paper cuts!!!

We will start with the paper cuts.......

Now I cant for the life of me believe that anyone on this earth would ever "like" paper cuts....but this IS America, and we have ALOT of crazy people living in this world, and Ive seen the show jackass and apparently Steve O likes them......BUT anyway......there should be no one on earth who likes them because they are terribly YES i realize saying the phrase "i hate paper cuts" is a given. But I thought I would relay why I hate them TODAY.

Number 1. They hurt like Hades when receiving the cut with paper

Number 2. They hurt like Hades times one thousand when receiving the cut with card board ( yea i said card board)

AND FINALLY Number 3 They hurt like Hades times one thousand Katrillion when receiving the cut WITH card board ON THE EAR!!!

Which brings me to why I loathe Wal Mart.....

Why do I do this to myself when I tell myself EVERY TIME I GO "self, we are never coming here again"

WHY is it that walmart has fifty KAJILLION check out lines but never has more than one open at a time...... HUH? Can you PUUULLLLEEEAAASE answer that question for me??

AND don't bother worrying about finding a parking space close to the front, because in order to be a decent human being and return your cart to the proper place, so as not to leave it so that the wind can blow it down the sloped parking lot into someones brand new car, (taking a large breath) you have to walk a mile because they are placed all the way at the OTHER END of the parking lot!!!! And please don't sass me with the whole its not like that at the one i go to......cause what matters is its like that at the one IIIIIIIIIII go to!!! :)

Sooooo how are you going to tie the two stories together, you ask? Well if it weren't for the fact that I had to walk all the way across the parking lot to return my basket, then i would have placed landon in the car BEFORE i returned it then i would have handed him his toy and we would have been all good.....but because we were taking a long trip to what seemed like CHINA he just HAD to have his toy right then. And so maybe we would have avoided him card board paper cutting my ear with his card board packaged toy when i was pulling him outta the cart!!!

Sorry, I'm not psycho, really.....just might need a new ear that's all!!! kidding

I'm done.....I feel better!!

While we are on the subject of WALLY WORLD, i saw the most amazing story on God Tube......get your tissues!!! Isn't our God Great?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

updates on landon

Some of you may remember back in Oct. of last year that my 2 year old (then one) contracted MRSA otherwise known as Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, yeah i know just nod your head and lets move forward. For those of you who don't remember the situation below I have posted a few emails that I sent out during that time. That should help catch you up....

Updates on Landon


Quick update on my lil man, I'm home for a short while to take a shower (LORD KNOWS WHAT IS IN HOSPITAL SHOWERS) and i wanted to say thank you to the many comments and messages i got regarding Landon. THANK YOU for your prayers, they really seemed to help because his surgery went VERY well and quick and he acts as though nothing happened at all.....the reality is that MSRA (the type of staph that he has) is VERY dangerous, and just today i saw two news broadcasts about it, one of which was CNN.....apparently it is running rampid right now.....I'm just glad i caught it when i did. AND that God protected my son.

His incision was very small but they had to hollow out an inch and a half to two inches deep of infection.....never would have known if not for the amazing doctors Landon has. It did not look on the outside like it was that deep.

PLEASE if you get cut, or anything of the sort, WASH your wound immediately and get antibiotic ointment on it quick.....believe it or not Landon's infection started with a measly mosquito bite (sorry i cant spell)Please keep his lil heart and body in your prayers, as he will have another long day ahead of him (have to change the dressing by removing packed in medicated gauze) and again pray that i will be staci


I am at home CLEANING (OH JOY) but i am happy to do it cause it puts my mind at ease, even though ive been told it has nothing to do with the cleanlyness of our home.....Landon is at the hospital with Jay getting some (like i said in my previous bulletin) Landon had the first unpacking of his wound, when you have an infection such as this it has to heal from the inside out, soooo the wound has to stay open (with the exception of medicated gauze that is packed inside the wound) so today was the first removal after surgery.......jay held him while i watched the procedure because i will have to do the same thing twice a day until healed.....YIKES, he was NOT a happy baby. However God helped me hold it together, it had to be his supernatural power cause i am usually not that together when it has to do with my kids, much less having to stare into a hole in my child's leg......anyway if you do pray please pray specifically for Landon's pain tolerance through the healing process.....AND for Jay and I's strength....and that we would be able to comfort each other....we tend to get angry instead of emotional cause we are naturally not that a word?? anyway thanks for the messages and comments of all are such great friends. LOVE YOU ALL staci

If you feel led, please say a prayer for my son. For his healing. I cant imagine having to deal with this again.


I will be bloggin again tonight to tell you of what the Lord taught me through that situation in OCT. it is awesome. till then

Monday, April 28, 2008

All I have to say is WOW!!

This from the girl who won, what was it FIVE Grammys.......

(BTW if you would like to turn off the music on the page to hear this video, scroll to the bottom of this page and press pause)

What is our world coming to??

I think it is very sad that we have made THIS a role model in today's society. Why would we reward a woman who is SO publically struggleing with addictions and cant even sing much less Hum the tune to Beat It? Why? I can think of AT LEAST a hundred other artists in the lime light that deserved this more than she.....

If we dont stop supporting her habbit, we will only enable her behavior....she will never get better as long as we see this kind of behavior on NATIONAL Television "normal".

All I know is i dont want my child to grow up thinking THIS is a behavior that deserves a Grammy nom.....

She needs a savior!!! I can only imagine how His heart breaks for her.....


Okay so remember my post "Things that annoy me" well.....I TOTALLY caught my husband changing the paper towel roll!!!! But not only did he lift his arm to unscrew the knob on the top of the contraption, and take time out of his EVER so busy life to change the roll, he also turned to me with a HUGE smile on his face to make sure and let me know "You know I am only doing this because of the blog you wrote!!!"

Praise Jesus it is an ever livin MIRACLE!!!

OH NO my sweet friends, not only did it alter the life of MY husband but it ALSO changed the life of another husband that happened to read my i wont DARE mention any names *cough JOEY cough* but he opted to tell me the other day as i was spending time with his wife, and as he was walking from the bathroom with a tp roll in his hand, that my blog had made him think twice about leaving that empty roll sitting there.

Yes ladies your prayers and positive thoughts have worked!!! I will never have to deal with this annoyance again....... And here's to hoping it reaches many more husbands across the universe!!


You must be proud, cause I am....

Hold the applause, I KNOW, I'm awesome and i should win a medal.....okay okay ill stop being so conceited. But i must admit, its terribly hard. I mean would you just LOOK at my page.

Did I pay for this you ask?

Why no my dear friends I most certainly did not, I did it all by my lonesome.....okay, not ALL by my lonesome, my near, dear, beautiful talented and wonderful friend Stephanie helped me!!!!

Now for those of you who do not appreciate this feat, you obviously have absolutely NO idea how difficult HTML code can be. I can't believe i even spoke the words HTML code, much less figured out how to finagle it. And by chance if you happened to look at my beautiful, artistic work on this here page, and said to yerself "self, lets check out Steph's beautiful and artistic work" only to find it is not yet beautiful and artistic, FEAR NOT for it is coming......she too is now an HTML code genius!!

I am now stepping down from the stage from which I've held myself oh so high.

Seriously, I'm not serious, seriously......I'm just being silly.....but i really AM proud of my self!!!

ta ta

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Que the tejano music its FIESTA TIME!!! So naturally the kindergartners made their traditional shoe box floats, shoot i even remember doing that as a kid!!! Anyway today was their Fiesta Float Parade and Fiesta Parties. When I arrived at the school to watch the kinder boys and girls parade around with their floats the hallways were lined with parents and grades they came walking down one of the main hallways the crowd broke out into a roar!!! It was sooo cute to see how proud these little ones were, showing off their beautiful creations!! A few weeks ago Logan and I dug out the crate paper (I have a ton left over from bday parties and baby showers) and began making what I think to be one of the best darn shoe box floats this side of the Rio grande!!! Don't you agree?
It must have taken me hours to paste all those lil crate paper flowers onto that shoe box, when Logan woke up the next morning to see the final result he was sooo excited (seriously it took forever and the poor dude couldn't hardly keep his lil eyes open, so mommy finished it for him) Here is Mrs. Spruill (formerly Mrs. Olvera, she was just married last weekend) starting off the parade.....

Here is what the sign she was holding looks like up close.....

Not far behind her was my lil man showin off his creation, And his tongue!!

Isn't he the cutest thing you ever did see?

And here is Miss Regan Robins!!! She and Logan are not in the same class, but have class rooms right next to each other, they often chat at lunch and after school waiting to be picked up!! Regan told Doug (her dad) that she wanted to marry Logan the other day, Doug made sure to let Jason know that she was NEVER getting married!!! hahaha!! How cute is that?

Here is the P.E. Coach and traffic director!!! Whats funny about this picture is River and Jeannie (Doug's Wife and son ) are sitting like 6 feet from me and i never even noticed.....

This is lil Izzy, she lives across the street from us. Her float is the bomb, I tried to get a good pic of it but they were all walking so even has an Alamo on it and a sombrero!!!

So I wanted to take pictures of some of the floats I thought were cool, to be honest I didn't even really get a good look at any of the kids because i was soo focused on getting shots of their floats......that's obvious with this next picture. I about fell outta my chair when i saw it. I mean seriously i don't mean to be ugly, but I think its time you cut your child's bangs.....would you agree?

This float was one of my favs!!! Too cute!!


So after the parade each class had a is log and some of his buddies enjoying their nachos!!
Here he is with some more of his buddies!!

I had a great time watching the parade and participating in his fiesta party!! So much fun, a brings back some great memories.....maybe it isn't sooo bad living in San Antonio!! I mean we get our own holiday!!! Can't beat that!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Learning To Pray!!

I think one of the things the Lord is trying to teach me presently, is how to be a woman who prays. I was inspired to write this blog for two different reasons. Number one is because of the entry in my good friend Steph's blog a few days ago. It is incredibly inspiring to see how the Lord responds to prayer. I love what God did for the Bucks AND I know that he is going to continue to do more because of the faith of His people. I also have seen countless other miracles when friends and family hit their knees for a one on one with their Father.

But I'm like Steph, prayer has not always been my strongest gift. And if I was to be honest, most of the time when i pray it is when i am in desperate need of something. I know, its horrible. However, a life full of prayer is something that I truly desire. But I always have a laundry list of reasons why I don't pray often, starting with the most popular of all excuses "I just don't have time." Really Staci??

That brings me to the second reason for being inspired to write this entry. As some of you may have read in one of my previous blog entries, I work on Wednesday mornings at a Dance Studio. This afternoon as I was leaving work and on my way home I came to a stop light and happened to notice the woman in the minivan behind me in my rear view mirror. (RABBIT TRAIL: which is completely ironic and totally meant to happen because for those of you who know me well, you would know that I lived without a rear view mirror in my 4 runner for what seemed like years cause it kept falling off and I got tired of trying to make it stick. I got sooo used to not having one i rarely use the one I actually have in my new car!!!) As my eyes came into focus on her, i noticed she had her head in her hands and she was just sobbing. I tried not to stare for too long, so as not to get caught and make her think i was gawking. But I just could not take my eyes off of her. It took me back to the many times I had been in this woman's position, not that I knew anything about what she might be going through. But it made me realize how much, when in those moments of grief, how much I could have used the prayers of Gods people.

It didn't take much for me to lift this woman up to the only one who could comfort her in her distress. In fact, I was done before the light even turned green. I guess I cant use the excuse "I just don't have time." anymore....

I don't know and probably never will know why that woman was crying, but I do know that the Lord put me in that very spot this afternoon for a reason. I know that there must have been times in my life as I sat crying in my car, that my distress may have not left that place of hopelessness if it weren't for the person sitting at the red light in front of me.

The Bible says in Ephesians 6:18 Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God's people.

So I will do just that.

That brings me to this, I have added an email me button on the right side of this page just below the "Motivation for Moms" box. If you are in need of prayer in ANY area of your life, i want to help!! Please feel free to email me with any and all of your prayer requests. I believe in the power of prayer, and i would be honored if you would allow me to help in this way!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mommy Tip

For those of us who have a hard time taking a shower, much less getting anything done around the house or sitting down for lunch during our busy weeks.....i discovered Pop Secret Kettle Corn!!!

It is only 100 calories a bag!! You can pop it in the microwave for a snack OR you can do like me to get some "mommy time" pop a bag for your kiddos and WHALA you can put a movie in and have movie time right there in your livin room. Then you might just get that few extra mins to take a shower!!

Things that annoy me....

Article A.
Article B.
Im senseing a pattern it just my husband or do all men insist on taking the time to go get another roll of TP or paper towels, yet just CANNOT find the time to actually replace the roll and discard the other??

My week, a wedding and a funeral :(

So my week was pretty packed full of BUSY!!! I mean to tell ya by about noon yesterday I could have fallen flat on my face from exhaustion. But I didn't because i had WAY too much to do.....

*Monday I cleaned the entire house (i often ask myself why i clean, about two seconds later its dirty again, what with my three children and my dog....did i say THREE??? I meant two ;) ) And did about 20 loads of laundry (you think I'm kidding but I'm not!!!)

*Tuesday I had my usual "every other week appointment" Which is a major event in its self because it takes me about a year to get my thing 1 ready for school in the morning and thing 2 takes about double the time cause he likes to be silly and make me chase him down to change his diaper, change his clothes, comb his hair, take your pick!!!

Then to get myself ready with thing 2 running around is almost impossible, by the time i get outta the house I'm ready for a nap!! After my appointment I return to me maws to retrieve thing 2, then off to pick up thing 1 from school. Come home, put thing 2 down for nap, check thing 1's back pack for homework, make thing 1 snack, send thing 1 outside to play so MOMMY can do her daily chore of cleaning.....WHY DO I DO THAT TO MYSELF....maybe i should hire a maid!!

*Wednesday I attempt to work from 9am to 12pm , I say attempt because thing 2 comes along. I work at Joann Neal Dance Studio, I have on and off since 99' first as a Dance Teacher, now as a receptionist....i think I'm getting too old to teach, or maybe its because i have a hard enough time dealing with my own chitlins why would i subject myself to more :) ?? Kidding the kids are GRRRREAT, but the moms are even better!!! I have a BLAST listening to them talk about this weeks gossip!!! They are a HOOT!!!!!! And I get great advice on mothering!! But I must admit it can get a tad crowded in there, and I don't do well with lots of noise and crowded areas....i tend to get a tad claustrophobic. In any case it WEARS me out!!

After "attempting" to work, I headed to Hobby Lobby to find some "Dip Bucket" face paint for Logan's Fiesta Party (yeah i asked the same question) only to find they had sold out of it and the rest was on back order!! So I figured ehh ill try the other Hobby Lobby, BUT WAIT, thing 2 has not had lunch or a nap.....and TRUST ME you don't want to go there with him. So I head home make lunch put him down for a nap all the while hoping he will wake up before I have to leave to pick up thing 1 from school....I say HOPE cause you don't want to wake him up either!!!

Needless to say he doesn't wake I brave the war on my own.....he was NOT a happy camper, throw him in the car with no shoes while he screams "SHOES MOMMY SHOOOOES" go get thing 1 (by this time I am reeeeaaal grumpy cause I've had about 30 mins to myself) We head to the other Hobby Lobby, which wouldn't you know HAS NO FREAKIN DIP BUCKET FACE PAINT!!! WHHHHY does it have to be sooo difficult!! So then we go to Wal mart. I proceed to tell Logan, "if they don't have it here, then your fiesta party wont have face paint!!!" For those of you who are moms you know store visits with your kids are NOT fun, so i don't think i have to go into detail about how this went.....lets just say we found some face paint, and i could have cared less if it was the right kind.

*Thursday I remember I have a funeral AND a wedding to go to....I'm thinking GREAT i have NOTHING to wear....this means i have to brave the land of the mall.....So basically i deal with the usual morning and afternoon routines....then head to Ingram mall (because it has the Disney store and i figure i can maybe bribe my kids to act normal :) ) We purchase toys for each child AND cookies (cant pass by the great American cookie factory with out getting one of those Delicious treats!!) and spend the next THREE hours trying to decide what color, style, length, of dress i should purchase....and don't think for a second i was gonna get two dresses....i learned LONG ago how to please my husband when it comes to shopping, so i went the kill two birds with one stone route!! I ended up purchasing a black strapless dress with a cardigan to go over it for the funeral to dress it down.....and figured when my hubby decided what he was gonna wear to the wedding, i could buy some jewelry to match!! YEAH it took three hours for just a black dress and a cardigan.

*Friday did the usual morning routine only this time i actually had to look decent, so i did my hair and make up, threw my dress and cardigan in the car (cause Lord knows with children anything can happen, i opted not to get dressed till after i dropped him off....and remember this dress has to be worn twice) and headed to me maws. Then i got dressed there and headed for New Braunfels.

I want to get serious for a moment. The funeral that I attended was for my friend Mandy's grandmother (na na) Mandy and I have known each other for what seems like a million years (since we were 8 or 9) and she is truly like family to me, and her family is ALSO like family to me. Nana was an amazing woman. The love that she and her late husband (pop) shared was what i believed to be a TRUE example of what a marriage should look like. They loved one another the way that God always intended a husband and a wife to love. Nana was incredibly healthy, but ever since pop passed away three years ago she just hadn't felt whole. She missed him everyday that he was gone, and told her family that she was "ready" to see him again. Not a few months later after offering up her pleas to God to let her be with her one true love again, she suffered a massive stroke and never recovered. Nana you will be missed. And although i did not know you the way that your true family did, i will always remember how beautiful and sweet you always were to me. May you rest in peace.

After the funeral I returned home and fell onto my couch....i was sooo tired. And i was sooo thankful that my me maw offered to pick up Logan from school and bring Landon home. I got a good 30 min nap. It was amazing. When Jay got home from work we spent the next two hours at the mall trying to decide on what color tie to get so that i could purchase my jewelry and shoes. He chose turquoise and green and black and so i got a turquoise necklace, earrings, bracelet, and shoes for the wedding the next evening.

*Saturday morning Logan's soccer game was at 9 in the flippin morning!! WHO DOES THAT?? So we get up get dressed, drive down the road to the ACYSO soccer fields, set up our chairs (which BTW the field is disgustingly wet and slippery and all i can think about is how dirty my kid and my car are going to be afterward) and the team we are playing only has 4 kids which is not enough for us to play on both fields ( just nod your head and read along cause i really don't feel like going into detail about the fact that we don't play REAL soccer at this age) so basically we completely wasted our morning by watching our kids scrimmage each other!!

After the game we took Logan home to change, and took the kids to Toy Zone off 281 and 1604 area. If you haven't been to this place you must!!! The toys there are toys you don't find in the normal Target, Wal mart etc. etc. All in all it was like being a kid again, i even found stuff there that i would like to play with, or that i did play with as a child. Anyway, we let each kid pick out a toy of their choice (and bought the most amazing invention, A Dripstik!! It is a cup like device for ice cream, it catches all the mess...jay and i both agreed it was WELL worth the 5 dollars a piece) and headed to me maws for a slumber party so that Jay and I could go to the wedding. So we drop them off and head home to get all pretty and handsome and what not.

We make the trek out to Lockhart, Tx where my oldest friend Gianna (when i say oldest i mean the person i have known the longest, kept in touch with the longest....she isn't really old.....shes my age.) and her man have land. We actually arrived an hour early, and I swear Gianna said it started at 5:30, however she was just telling me to arrive at 5:30 that the celebration didn't start until 6. But even still, the wedding was out in the middle of some of their land. The trees were absolutely gorgeous. And she had rented this AMAZING tent. It was HUGE. The colors she chose were absolutely gorgeous, pastel pinks and greens, and brown. It was beautiful. And when I saw her arrive I almost BUST into tears, she looked absolutely gorgeous in her vintage style wedding gown that was covered in beads and tied up around her neck and came low in the back. Her hair was curled half up in neat little knots. And the best part was her vintage PINK cowgirl boots!!! So cute!!! Jay and I didn't know many people there. But it was wonderful to see her family and to see Gianna so in love. Congrats to you and your man Gianna. You did a wonderful job putting it all together it was beautiful!!!

Like an idiot I forgot to bring my camera so hopefully she will send me some pics i can post later. When we returned home we took a few pictures of ourselves to remember this occasion (we don't get doozied up often)

I promise we looked better at the beginning of the night :) and you can tell from these pictures how tired we both were...after this we fell into bed!!

*Sunday we rolled (Literally) outta bed at 9am because my sweet me maw and pe paw needed our help painting. Of course i am not allowed to paint, Jason apparently thinks i stink at it. So I hung out with Landon, my mom and me maw. At about 3 pm (barely holding my eyes open) we headed home to do somethings around our house. OH JOY!!!

Piper needed some SERIOUS attention. Just before we got home we stopped by Wal mart and purchase some hair clippers for dogs. Everything that followed was not pretty!! Lets just say jay and I are not good candidates for dog groomers. Jay ended up getting frustrated and i finished the job. Which BTW took about 3 hours. Here are some pics of my grooming job.

Poor thing never knew what hit say it was an ugly stick :)

So in conclusion, for all you "non stay at home moms" who think all we do all day long is lay around a eat bon bons......i hope this gives you a look into what it is REALLY like for me and my fellow mommy's. Maybe next time your around someone who sacrifices sitting in a cozy chair having adult conversation all day for weeks like THIS, you can give them a nice pat on the back and say something like YOUR AWESOME.

Love to all!!

P.S. If you read this all the way through you are amazing and should win a medal!! Seriously though if its hard just to READ my week, imagine living it!!! OH AND I LOVE MY KIDS, they are amazing beautiful wonderful talented children who just have their everyday kid moments. They are not little hellians i promise!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Okay God...I hear you!!!

Every once in a while I will have one of those "okay God" moments. A moment where I hear the Lord LOUD and CLEAR, well I heard him this afternoon and I just thought I would share that moment with you.

So remember my Real, Deep, Always blog a couple of days ago? At the time I was feeling very frustrated with my walk....I guess I was feeling like it had to be flawless, without err. And I was struggling to understand why I couldn't seek Him consistently, daily, on a very regular basis...however you want to put it. You see, I tend to be very hard on myself, I am an all or nothing person, that is a huge flaw in my life.....there doesn't seem to be much middle ground with me. Either I want it or I don't. All the way or no way at all. So, the Lord spoke to a wonderful friend of mine through another blog this afternoon, and after remembering what i was going through she shared it with me as quickly as she could. Here is what He said to me:

The day before yesterday I got on my knees and prayed about all my fears, doubts, worries. Why don’t I trust God the way I should? Why do I go back to that place of relying on my own power? Why do I let the fear overtake me? When will I be the person I wish I could be?

I didn’t get an answer.

But then yesterday morning, I walked my dogs down to an empty field by our house to let them run. I stood there watching them and noticed one lone bluebonnet sprouting up in the middle of the field.

I know from past years that in another week, the entire field will be covered in bluebonnets.

But, for now, there is just that one.

And I felt God say to me in the still, small place in my heart, “My girl, that’s how it is sometimes. After a long winter, spring doesn’t always happen all at once. It happens one flower at a time. I make all things beautiful, one flower at a time.”

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

You see I don't have to feel frustration, because the Lord has a time for everything. He doesn't always move at the speed we would have Him move, and he NEVER expects perfection. And God loves to speak gentleness and peace to His children, just like our earthly fathers would do if we were hurting or confused. And I am very thankful that my wonderful friend was listening for Him on my behalf!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Dinner and A Movie

So this weekend we met up with our good friends Joey and Steph and went to dinner and a movie!!! We saw the movie Street Kings, which as Steph says in her blog left our husbands wanting to be dirty cops and shoot everyone in the theater parking lot. But we stopped them from doing that!!! Anyway we trully had a fabulous time, we dont get out much anymore and to be able to get out with people we really enjoy spending time with was a BLESSING!!! So Happy Bday Joey and thanks for inviteing us to hang, we trully enjoyed it!!!
Me and Jay at the theatre waiting for Joey and Steph!!
Joey opening his bday cards.
Our handsome men.
The Girls
Joey and Steph.

Dang joey give us a moment to get together and smile!!

Much better!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Generation, rising up to take their place!!

So this morning we went to church where we grew up (basically) we went with a couple of our closest friends......I just wanted to say how much I LOVED worshiping the Lord this morning!!! I felt Gods presence in a way that I cant explain, I had gooseys all over ( thats what i call goose a mom what can i say)

There is this song that I absolutely love called Hosanna by Hillsong United, if you havent heard this band before you should check them out. I was recently given a CD of theirs by my friend Ann, she said that I needed to hear it......Its been in my CD changer ever since.....ANYWAY there is a line in the song that says:

"I see a generation,
Rising up to take their place,
With selfless faith, with selfless faith,
I see a new revival,
Staring as we pray and seek,
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

I do believe that there is a generation rising up to take their place. And I pray that they would press on, toward the goal.....and not let the enemy stand in their way.

Exodus 14:13 Do not be afraid stand firm and you will see the deliverance the lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will NEVER see again.....The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still

Please go to this link and listen to this song!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Real, Deep, Always

Why is it sooo hard, or rather why do i make it sooo hard??

Since the definition of a blog is : an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page. So, then i thought maybe i would decide to make it JUST THAT. All worries and afflictions aside. That means that I am trying to just say what i mean and mean what i say without reservations or thoughts of what others might think of me after reading.

So today I wonder at 7 am on a Saturday morning,


Why is it soo hard to have a relationship with you?

A full on, deep, heavy, close, real relationship with YOU the living God?

Why is it that I can be at a place where i feel completely and totally right with you and loved by you, and then all of the sudden BAAM I hit a road block of complacency?

COMPLACENT: pleased, esp. with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect

Why when sooo many other times in my life when I have hit this fork in the road, am i such an idiot and don't just consciously make the decision to carry on with full force seeking and praying and running in your direction?

Now please, don't think that because I'm sitting here in this mood, this attitude, that I have made a blunder or mistake that is eating me from within or anything of that sort. I am just sooo freakin frustrated. I want to have a relationship that is real..... that is deep...... that is always.

I want to talk to you (God) everyday, every moment where i feel hurt....when i feel alone....when i feel sick....when i feel happy....when i feel overwhelmed.....when i feel accomplished....when i am faced with temptation.....I want to lean on you when I've made a mistake.....when i have fallen....when i have succeeded.....when i have stood up for what i believed in......when i have resisted......So why then? Why does it always come to this? A place where I'm just scootin along....unaware.......

This is usually the time where the temptations of life decide to envelop me.....this is usually the time when i decide "eh, whatever" This is usually the time when I know the enemy is lurking.....and in the past i have done nothing to stop him from taking over my heart.

But what is it that gets me to this place?

Why do i allow that to happen???

Will I allow that to happen again, am i allowing that to happen??

If I were to allow myself the opportunity to be a therapist for the moment, to reach deep within and try to understand, i might decide that it is because I am afraid. I am afraid to give of my whole self, for fear that I might not receive your love in return....that you might forget me, get tired of me, ignore me, hurt me.............leave me.

Will you??

Did you??

Its no excuse, I know.....

Why cant I be real.....why cant i be deep.....why cant i be always?

Thursday, April 3, 2008


I totally feel like a 10 year old, feathered hair'd, rolled up jean'd dork again!!! Can I get an AMEN???

This is amazing....

that is all