Monday, May 5, 2008

Sometimes Gods defintitions of a word and mine are not the same.....

So for about 6 months now the Lord has been calling me to a specific purpose. I kept searching for his purpose for me, and as some of you know sometimes that takes a life time. I prayed a while back that God would show me his purpose for my life....give a direction, a clear vision for where he wanted me......and the word I got the picture I got was Missionary.

I was like "okay God, wow, uh that's sure okay i can do that." Then i began to seek it out. As I look back over this time, i admit I had some moments where I was truly "in Staci Fashion" Frustrated!!!! Boy I tell you what I threw some ridiculous fits.....and here's why:

Apparently GODS view of missionary and my view of missionary, aren't the same......our definitions are sorta off.....not by much......but

You see when i hear missionary I think Africa, Ethiopia to be exact, China, Russia...... BASICALLY...... I'm retarded ( i have to say this, i am not nor do i make fun of the physically challenged, the way this is meant is the way Tommy boy says it, please do not take offense). I kept thinking he was calling me to hop on a plane with bare essentials live in a hut for a year and feed starving children. Now, I'm not saying that he wont call me to that at some point in my life, and believe me if he does, I AM SO THERE. The want to help others, especially the most desperate people on earth, is truly one of the strongest desires of my heart.....but God has his own plan for my life.....and that was not necessarily it....for now.

So let me back track for a sec.....when I heard Gods voice calling me to missions, it wasn't like he said it once.....i mean i heard it everywhere (for those of you who think I'm crazy for saying I heard a voice, it wasn't an actual VOICE per say it was a voice i heard in my heart....God chooses to speak in more than one way) it was like every other commercial was about orphans and giving and desperate children and Oprah (well not Oprah but her show "Oprah's big give" did a number on me) and I couldn't get it outta my was like i was gonna need some serious help if i didn't listen. So i decided, okay Stac, get online, check it out. Now, there are several thousand organizations that go on trips, but everywhere i checked just seemed to lead me no where.....either it was an org. in another city or state or even country and i couldn't do more than send money which is NOT what i wanted and i venture to say its not what he wanted for me either. Not that giving is bad. Its just that i knew/know in my heart I am supposed to do.....not just give.

So anyway, I couldn't just sit there, i had to talk to someone who knew more than Jay and I called up our good friend Douglas Robins (okay his name is Doug but I like adding las makes him sound really old and its funny) So any who, Doug is the man who taught me about that guy we call Jesus, he helped grow me in Christ......AND if it weren't for the youth group that he and other BRCC leaders created and led waaaaay back in the good ole 1990's i would have never met the man I now call my husband, Jason.....without which I would never have my most precious children Logan and Landon....I know too much info.

MOVING right along, so we call up Doug and meet for lunch.....I pick his brain for an hour....and he proceeds to tell me (among other things) that BRCC (the church we attend) is starting a new church down town. Now we have apparently missed this info because we can be slackers and not attend every now and again, and not only do we miss the info...even after he tells me this i didn't realize how soon this was happening.....mind you I'm a lil slow sometimes AND we only have an hour and I'm pretty sure he didn't say we end our lunch and give high fives and we went on our way.....

I'm like freakin out....I'm like SERIOUSLY GOD?? I mean you call me to be a missionary, yet you don't give me any missions to ary!!!! So comes the frustration.....cause remember I'm retarded.

Okay so this weekend Steph and i attend Mug and muffin (read blog below) hear Big Momma talk, get all emotional, talk about our kids, go shoe shopping, stop by bath and body works and then head to lunch. When we get to lunch we begin to chat about serving.....what were called to do...yada i wont go into detail....but i will say we talked about serving at BRCC down town. I mean after all we both grew up at BRCC and served under Douglas practically our whole lives....i mean it only makes sense.

Little did I know God was answering my prayers.....

So we go to church on Sunday, and it was like God took his hand grabbed my chunky cheeks with both hands and said "listen sista" Dave talks about BRCC downtown, and how Doug is looking for, GET THIS.....missionaries!!!


Now normally, people who serve, they're called "volunteers" that is why I'm certain it was God speaking.....I'm sure there is a million other reasons why the word was used.....but i mean seriously....I wanted to jump outta my chair and scream Hallelujah Praise Jesus!! I'm pretty certain that God has called me to serve as a Missionary at BRCC downtown.

And I wasn't the only one who felt Gods leading......

Any way, just an exciting God moment for ya!!! Ill keep you updated.