Thursday, June 5, 2008

Dance Recitals Shouldnt Have Clowns....

This past Saturday was a crazy day for me........

As ive mentioned before, I have worked for a Dance Studio, Jo Ann Neal Dance Studio, on and off since 99'. Ive have only taught classes until this year. I just have a hard time finding child care for Landon during the studio hours AND i AM almost thirty (elbow elbow) kidding. I still sub every now and again, but for now i am just workin the front desk, i can bring Landon when i do that....he basically just adds to the noise that is the front room where the parents and their "sweet sweet toddlers" wait for the older siblings.....its heaven.....and i figured WHY NOT?? I am already gonna be kidding, the moms are a RIOT, I have a BLAST catching up on the "gossip" they share.

Anyway, we had our annual Dance Rehearsal and Recital Friday and Saturday night, and can I just say......I would have rather been one of the teachers this year!!!!

Why Staci? Why would you want to be dancing on the stage and or sidelines dance after dance trying to remember "what the heck are the steps again?" OR suffer masses of humiliation when one of your students doesn't show up and you have to squeeze into a 9 year olds costume and perform the dance all the while noone besides the kids in the dance notice that your not a nine year old (i have NO chest, that must be the problem) OR suffer the stress of several of your classes blacking out cause they have stage fright and you have to be the one to say "they did it fine in class" WHY would you want to do that to yourself????

WHYYYY you ask?

Because dealing with all that is MUCH MUCH easier and less stressful than dealing with the PARENTS of the children in the show. Im serious!!!

This year I was a stage hand.....i was just part of the "staff" I even had a black shirt with the word "staff" on the sleeve....if i were workin a concert i would be the one keeping you off stage, a bouncer if you will. I know yall a picturing lil ole me with my chest pushed out and my arms folded!!! Anyway in this case i wasn't dealing with groupies I was dealing with stage moms....

I mean really do you people not know how to follow directions???? Its slightly ridiculous.....heres the thing, before the recital Joann made it clear if you are a "stage mom" (these are the moms chosen to stay with all the kiddos in the particular class, i mean we cant have EVERY mom on the stage other wise what would be the point to having a recital) anyway she told them after their particular dance they needed to take the kids to the rehearsal hall and wait with them until the intermission and then the parents would come to get them. And to NOT take them ANYWHERE else........and what do they do??? I just cannot tell you how many frantic mothers came to me to ask "where in the world is Carmen Sandiago" And if you know me, im not good with confrontation.....i didnt say i was scared of it, i said i wasnt GOOD at it. I usually let my mouth talk before my mind works.....its a disease.....anyway im the nicest person you will ever meet, but if you make me mad.....i might say some insulting things or you may leave having your ego crushed. I thought i might mention if you are full of yourself, you are immediately on my list.....i cant stand it.

And then there was the clowns.......yes i said clowns...........oh lord the clowns. Okay so Joann will occasionally dress up as a clown and visit the sick children in hospitals to give out candy and sorts, which i think is great.....and she has come across some fellow clowns in her time. And she decided it would be cute to do a clown dance of sorts. So meet Bebop:

She looks nice enough dont you think? (sorry this is the only pic i could find of her, and this really does not do her justice....)

Okay now pretend your a child again and Bebop decides to plop down. In a chair. In the corner of the room. All alone. Watching you.

Would you freak???

what I thought.

So now not only am i running around looking for lost children, but i am also trying to figure out a way to tell Bebop that shes going to need to park her clown arse somewheres else(remember im not "good" with confrontation) .....i mean really, i thought the stage moms were clueless....your a clown for Gods sake, not everyone thinks your cute......i would venture to say AT LEAST HALF the population of the world has NIGHTMARES about you BEBOP!!!!

I say something to the effect of "Bebop, I can call you that right??" "Okay, um yeeeeeah (office space) your scaring the hell outta that lil girl there that is, um, WRAPPED IN A DAMN TOWEL so that she doesnt have to look at your scary arse!!!" "You think maybe we should move you into another room, saaaay, one with NO CHILDREN??"

Bebop was very nice, and agreed, but not before asking me for some asprin......hmmm....hangover much? What is it with drunken clowns? I mean she MUST have been to miss the fact that about 70 katrillion children were running and hideing behind the "stage moms" SHEEESH!!!!

And lets not forget that the running theme of this years recital was MARY POPPINS....OH JOY, BRING ON ALLLLLLLL the people dressed as jack n the boxes and Dolls and Toy Soldiers and CLOWNS...wait there werent clowns in Mary Poppins?? WELL THERE WERE IN THIS RENDITION.....can you see me running around hiding clown people from scared children?? Not to mention one of the clowns being JOANN like FOR REAL PEOPLE??? ARE YALL MENTAL?? Who doesnt know clowns are scary....
The recital went off well, but not for lack of lots of stress on my SHOUT OUTS to all the stage hand people we never see.......yall rock.....and I QUIT!! LOL kidding


Katy Lin :) said...

LOL! this takes me back! (love the office space reference, btw!) - found you through SITS! i'll definitely be back!

Mrs. Romero said...

"Bebop, I can call you that right" is killing me. That is some funny stuff..