Sorry for the 5000 posts, but ive got to catch up....ive been gone for a week AND i get to enjoy the HORROR of my wisdom teeth being extracted tomorrow. OH joy...so it will be a few days before i can post anything else
speaking of my wisdom teeth....I only have 2.
"Why staci?? Why only two??" you ask
Well my dear sistas, and the 1.5 brothas that read this blog, i have done this before....yes I BRAVED the world of SCIREX and lived to tell the story!!
"Whats SCIREX Stac?"
SCIREX is.....well SCIREX is um HELL!!!
It is a place that you go to get tortured for money......yeah thats it.
Okay so really its a place that you give of your self for the studying of different pain medications........torture. pure torture. I DONT recommend it.
Have i amped up the story yet??
So Im this naive lil 21 year old back in good ole 2000, AND poor as dirt as most us young newly married folk are....and I had this BRILLIANT idea i was going to go get my wisdom teeth removed at SCIREX. At the time I made a whole 6 bucks an hour as our church receptionist, and my hubby was a manager for Petros Climbing Adventures where Im pretty sure he didn't make much more......so our total combined salary per year equaled less than average, lets just say we thought about applying for WIC when Logan was born.....not that that is terribly bad......:) AND neither of us had dental insurance......so naturally when you hear the words free AND compensated you really dont have a choice in the matter.....you just "take one for the team" which is exactly what i did......
I show up for the screening, and basically they ask you all those uncomfortable questions such as: "when was your last menstrual cycle" and "Do you take any illegal drugs" "When was the last time you smoked a cigarette" Im like "am i on candid camera....are my parents secretly taping this to find out how much of a sinner I REALLY am?? lol kidding..... Anyway that part went fairly smoothly, and I must admit i was hooked when they told me i would be receiving 450 dollars.....that was like winning the lottery....i actually had to keep my composure for fear i would freak the nurse out....but i was JUMPING up and down inside.
Moving right along.....i was told to have someone drop me off and then pick me up 24 LOOONG hours later (looking back this would be because i may have had some CRAZY reaction to these drugs they were testing on me, and may not have been able to drive, who does these things to themselves for money....i am SUCH a MORON!!!!) anyway, AND they tell you to bring ONE change of clothing and a tooth brush and THAT IS ALL FOLKS!!!
What they FAILED to tell me was that I should have had a check book as well, to pay for the IV sedation and or laughing gas (which is ironic cause this is NO laughing matter). Yeah um someone skipped a step in the process and did not tell me to bring cash or check so that I wouldnt have to listen to them RIPPING MY FLIPPIN TEETH OUTTA MY HEAD!!!! And just to make matters worse it had to be paid UP FRONT, so i had NO choice but to take the option three...........LOCAL ANESTHESIA!!!
"Are you freaking kidding me"
No, no im not.....
So im like "Stac, your a trooper, suck it up, you can do it!!!"
So....... that I did, I told the lady at the front with the sweetest smile i could muster....."OH, um, okay, yeah sure, thats fine, mmmhmm." "450 dollars staci, 450 dollars"
I hear my name being called, I walk to the room, and they tell me "Hi, Staci, Okay first we are going to go ahead and insert this IV, (okay side note I HATE IVS, they hurt like Hades, not to mention my veins SUCK so I usually have to have an IV specialist insert one, this became even more clear with this episode) only they decided (since they are apparently BRILLIANT) that they wanted to put it just below my bicep area..........yeah.......i know........all you nurses are saying "WHAT THE???" WHO DOES THAT.....i even said
"now im no nurse, but um....yeah.....WHY???"
And they proceeded to tell me it would make my "stay" more comfortable, because i was going to be having blood drawn every hour. First of all, all i really wanted to say was "no (insert choice word here) Sherlock" "what i meant was WHY are you putting an IV in my shoulder?"
But they tried anyway and what do you know.....
it didnt work....
However i got a nice souvenir, a soft ball sized bruise and looked like a heroin addict that couldn't use certain veins anymore so moved to more difficult ones.......
Anyway, im like "okay, really, it CANT get any worse RIGHT?" WRONG!!!
So then i see it....yeah IT, the big Bazooka sized needle.....GRRRREAT!!! He tells me, "Okay now this is going to sting a lil" A LITTLE?? ARE YOU JOKING!!! IM NOT FIVE!!!! IM NOT GOING TO RUN TO THE PRIZE BOX AFTER THIS, YOUR YANKING MY TEETH OUTTA MY HEAD FOR GODS SAKE!!!
Whats worse (dear God HOW can it get any worse) he POKES ME WITH THE NEEDLE IN THE FREAKIN LIP!!!! Which woulda been okay if i was getting my lips done, but IM NOT!!! GEEZ
By this point im contemplating getting up outta this chair, cold cocking him right in his chin and bee lining right outta there.....why i didnt.....i still ask myself that question.
There is some humor to this story, and that was when he proceeded to hand me some head phones and told me i could listen to some "music" would take the edge off......
DUDE your gonna have a DRILL in my mouth, im thinkin i wont be able to hear a darn thing, THANKS BUT....... NO!!!!!
SO THEN (theres more??? oh yes) He starts drillin, and i mean to tell you it was the worst noise i could possibly EVER listen to........and a few mins in the surgery my tooth pops up and almost goes down my throat.......FIGURES....oh but thats not the best part my friends.....his sidekick CAPTAIN IDIOT, decides to throw me in an upwards motion so as not to swallow the darn tooth, and Doctor Death FREAKS OUT, and starts screaming obscenities to his assistant which at this point if he hadnt i would have, i mean the guy had about a million tools in my mouth that could have sliced me open in a split second. HOLY CANOLI I thought i was going to be a witness to a murder the way he scolded her.
When all was done I was shuffled into a holding tank with about a bazillion other lab rats.....where we were forced to eat PB and J all night and watch each other drool....oh and lets not forget there was no sleep because of the hourly blood draining.......so they give you this "pain med" and a stop watch and if the pain ends you stop the watch....mine never stopped.....you see I got the placebo.............OMG!!!! I know you are shocked!!!! You must be right??? :) So i finally told one of the nurses, um yeeeah your gonna need to give me a rescue drug and a guarantee that im gonna get my 450 otherwise yall are D-E-A-D!!!
I was NOT a happy camper!!!
So the night was HORRIBLE with a capital H and when jay came to pick me up ON THANKSGIVING DAY i looked like a chipmunk with a deformation cause i only got two out....they only do two at a time......and that day sucked just as bad because who wants to watch their entire family pig out on Thanksgiving feast and be in sooo much pain you cant eat???
Did I mention I got a dry socket???
Now do you know why i am sooo thrilled to have this done???
Yes I am alive and well after visiting the best Dentist in the free world Dr. John Leland
So he gave me these two lil blue pills and all i remember after that was saying something to the affect of "im a lil sleepy is there somewheres i can go lay down?" Then I woke up at home at about 8pm to the lovely sounds of sibling rivalry!!! I am still in a lil pain....okay so i feel like i was punched in the jaw right below the ear.....however painkillers are my friend, they help me through the day, and keep a jolly smile on my face. :) see??
Seriously all is well and i couldn't have asked for a better oral surgeon, he even called to check on me....What a guy!!!