Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Real Raggin Wed

Okay girls time for this weeks edition of "Real Raggin Wednesday" Here are the rules

My rag this week is towards the person who first decided Jesse or Jessy or Jessie, is a unisex name.....why must you have done this to me?

So I'm drivin along, driving along drivin along when I decide,

"hey, why not use my gift card to massage envy."

I was on my way home from droppin off the kiddos at mimaws for a visit, and I had been staring at the computer all day, which gave me a heck of a crick in my neck, so i figured

"lets do this."

I really went in just to check it out. I hadn't ever been to Massage Envy and had no idea how it worked.

"Hi, I got a gift card from my friend for my birthday, and i wanted to come in and find out whats next in the process."

"Oh well have you ever been to massage envy before"

This is where I gave her a sarcastic "no"

"Okay well when you are a first time customer you receive your first hour massage at the cost of 39.99, so this 45 dollar gift card will cover your massage and 6 dollars towards gratuity."

"Do you have time for one now?"

"Jessy has an opening in about 10 mins."

This my friends is where things went wrong........

You see.....I am a rather modest person....when it comes to my matter how much i weigh or how great my tan is, I don't DO being half naked. In a room. With a guy rubbin all over me. Its just awkward.

So when the woman says Jesse, I'm thinking "OH Jessy Spannow"....or "Jessica Simpson", you know JESSY shes a girl....WRONG.

I get situated in the relaxation room and in walks this blonde haired blue eyed 20 somethings Kid....i say kid because I'm almost thirty.....i consider myself no longer of that breed.

"Oh my, you have GOT to be kidding me" I thought.

"Hi Staci, I'm Jesse." "Can you tell me about some of your problem areas?"

I'm thinking "problem areas? " My problem area is the area rightch here that we are currently standing in. But something in me said "Grow up nerd"

So I put my big girl panties on..... and followed him into his room. Oh God I said followed him to his room (i am blushing.....SHUT UP STEPH)

So when we get to the room, he politely tells me that I may undress to whatever is comfortable.....I seriously considered keeping all my clothes on.....

I thought for a second and then realized that I had on a strapless bra....I figured this would be good since the blanket would be up to my neck for the first half of the massage.....and it would make me feel a tad bit more comfortable....


Now, the first part of the massage was delightful.....I completely forgot about the whole "guy" issue....and had almost fallen into a deep sleep when he told me it was time to flip over....

"OH GOD" but he made this easy he held up the sheet so as not to get a peek at anything inappropriate......and then when he began to drape the sheets so as to work on my back......this is where things got the most awkward of all.

He gently tapped my shoulder and said

"Staci, would you mind if i undid this for you so that I can work on your back?"

*ahem* "sure" voice cracking

I could feel my whole body turn red, but i sooo could not contain myself from laughing like a 13 year old.....he must have gotten a good chuckle out of it as well. husbands gonna LOVE this story. And boy did he....and so did every other person i told.....I had numerous jokes where they asked "did he do it one handed?"

Oh the HORROR!!!!

So I am seriously disgruntled with the person who first decided it was a good idea to name their son Jesse!!!

But I guess I can let this one go......for time i will make sure to ask up front for a woman.



ugagirl30 said...

I am with you, sister. I would have been so uncomfortable. My sisters once told me that once you have children you lose all inhibitions. Not true. I spent the day with my best friend today. She walked into her non-locking bathroom while I was using it and I was so embarrassed. I probably would have died if Jesse had asked me to unhook my bra.

Caroline said...

Oh dear. That made me chuckle. How awkward for you.

Christina said...

I think I'd of felt the same way as you. I got a good laugh out of this post. :)

Heather said...

Darn those tricky unisex names!! Pat, Chris, Jesse, Sam...

Katy Lin :) said...

i am totally with you on this one sistah! the same goes for doctors, ladies only please! :)

Missy said...

Aaaah! So wrong! Too bad the massage wasn't relaxing. I hope he didn't fumble trying to unsnap...

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Now, I had a male massuse (yeah that's not how you spell it but) who's name is Phil (pretty obvious... thank goodness) and I LOVED having a guy. His hands were SO much stronger than a womans, and he did a much better job. He was incredibly professional and that made me very at ease with him.

HipMomma said...

Or go to a real massage place, a real spa like place. It truly is much more "professional". Those drive thru places are a little weird to me.

Melanie said...

I love your modesty. This is exactly how I would feel. Great post!