Anyone watch the hills.....anyone??
Before you call me an adolescent and laugh in my face understand that Jesus would be VERY disappointed in you for making fun!!! Really...he doesn't take it lightly!! He has my back yo!!
Anyway, YES i am a fan, AND not only am I a fan but (hold the phone) my husband is too!!! Im okay with you making fun of that, cause its just not right....lol. Although his main reason for watching is to observe Spencer's jackassedness, Jason has not one mean bone in his body, so it shocks him that this dude can be soo horrible and yet still be liked by anyone. He sits next to me with a some what bored look on his face until spank comes into view....then this smirk slides wistfully across his face......its amusing. :)
Moving along, as i said I am a fan. Ive been watching Laurens dramatic life play out since the wee days of Laguna Beach. I obsessed over her obsession with Stephen, and loathed Kristen Cava-sluttee right along with her.
Then I lived vicariously through her when she moved to "The Hills" and decided to go for a life in fashion, and was pleased with her decision to have feisty Heidi as her Bee Fri.
And next i was distraught for her when Heidz started putting Spank before their friendship, and heartbroken for her when Heidi chose her bro over her hoe.
But i was satisfied with her life because she had Whit, and Audrina, and somewhere in all this mess Lo comes back into the picture. Lo is cool but im not quite sure i can read her.....that bothers me a tad.
Oh and lets not forget Justin Bobby, he is just a KEEPER isnt he?? Ive had many a screaming session at the TV with him in the picture.......but I give him a pass because he is OBVIOUSLY a wounded soul.....;)
Anyway through all of Laurens dramatic scenes Ive never quite related until recently.
I can't believe im admitting this....
But the last two episodes of the Hills I was overcome with emotion.
Stop with the hysterics, cause its not like I really care that much about "their" lives its just that I realized I had suppressed some emotion from a situation in my life. Watching these last two episodes brought this emotion to the fore front and boy did the water works appear.
Let me explain:
First I have only a few close friends, three of which i call my best friends.... They all mean the WORLD to me, you all probably think Stephanie when i say best friend. Because you know us as bloggers, but I have two others, Amy, Whom I met in High school, and Lindsay whom i met at the same time I met Steph, we met at our Church youth group. In this situation I am speaking of Lindsay. Are we up to speed?? cool.
Lindsay and I have been through alot together. When I say alot i mean ALOT. There are things that she has helped me through that i will forever be grateful for. And there are things that I have walked with her through that NOONE would want to see their best friends have to deal with. She knows EVERYTHING about me. And I her, and she has ALWAYS supported me.
If you watched the last episode of the Hills , im sure you saw Lauren and Heidi talk, (SHOCK i know) and then in the previous episode you saw Lauren say goodbye to Whit. These last two episodes hit me hard, I identified with Lauren in a big way.
There was a time about a year and some months ago that I had to make the decision to create distance between her and I. This decision , now looking back, was for the best....for both of us and I know Lindsay would agree. But it was the hardest sacrifice I have EVER had to make. For almost a whole year we did not speak. It was torture, and the hardest part was knowing that she was suffering.
God was faithful to restore our relationship, and that is the best gift. But during this time Lindsay made the decision to move to another city where her family would all be together. It was the BEST decision for her and her precious family, but it left me heartbroken.
I dont deal well with emotions, I suppress them as often as i can because deep down i think i am REALLY an emotional mess and i think i would explode if i let myself feel them. So when I saw Lauren saying goodbye to Whit It all rushed back.......but I was strong enough to keep it together......however not good enough to hide it from Jason, for a brief moment he took his eyes off the tv to notice i had a look of distress on my face....he pushed, i pushed harder. He dropped it. But last night, when Heidi and Lauren finally had a moment together, I remembered how difficult it was to not be with her, to not have her in my life......and i wasnt strong. Jason was just as shocked as anyone would be..."seriously WHY are you crying" but it had nothing to do with them.
I remembered her calls........and the strength it took to not answer.
I remembered feeling soooo alone. When id struggled and had noone to call.
I remembered when he came home after seeing al........and falling onto the bathroom floor thinking i had lost her friendship forever.
I remembered the instant connection and the "UN-awkwardness" i felt when seeing her for the first time in a year.
I remembered seeing syd for the first time after a year and feeling like she KNEW me still , her aunt tace. :)
I remembered her txting me and telling me she couldn't come see me cause it would be too hard to say goodbye.
I know your not far.......and I know ill see you as often as possible. But I wanted you to know how MUCH you mean to me......and how VERY much i miss you!!
Do you gals have a best friend you miss??