My Husband Rocks Friday......

So when I saw the previews to "Dark Knight" I was immediately drawn to it. I LOVED Batman returns...I think Christian Bale fits the part wonderfully, and when i heard about the new one I told Jason, WE ARE SOOO THERE!!!



Well, its been about a week now and i still have yet to see it. I have been sad that we cant make the time for it because i truly want to see it, and for those of y'all who know me...i don't DO movies......at least not until they come out on video......so it was clear THIS was something i was REALLY looking forward to.



The other night I was workin on some blogalicious business when i happened upon a site that had an advertisement for the movie in the corner of the site. Jason was sitting close enough to notice it and I saw a look on his face that led me to believe he needed to get something off his chest.



"honey, what is it?" I said



"I have a confession to make" he said with a huge smile on his face



This is where my mind went to bad things......he's done something horrible, i thought. What to say what to say.....

"On Sat, when the computers were down at work....I went to see the movie" he said

"what movie" I asked, already knowing the answer

"Batman" he said

Immediately he began to get emotional......and terribly apologetic.

"HOOOOONEEEEEYYYYY, I'm disappointed but I'm not THAT mad" I said as i leaned in towards him to give him a big squeeze.

" I know," he said "But I know how MUCH you wanted to see it with me, and it was wrong of me to go without you"

At that moment I fell deeper in love with him .......

It feels incredible to know that my husband TRULY puts my feelings before his own. That he would acknowledge that he had done something hurtful....no matter how small and apologize means the world. It shows me how very much he loves me and how important my happiness is to him.

Jason, I love you more than you know....I am soo thankful for your friendship and the respect you show me. I do not deserve a love like yours. I am blessed for having you in my life.

Im A Slacker......

Yes, I have no shame in admitting it either.....but i will say i am NO slacker outside of the blogosphere. I work my arse off makin blogger buddies blogs "blogalicious", I take care of two kids under the age of 7, a dog who barks relentlessly, a husband whom although i LOVE truly madly deeply STILL cannot pick up after himself, AND a home that I can NEVER quite keep clean. SO i am super far behind BUT better late than never RIGHT.



First order of business is my AWARDS!!! I know you can not see me but i am all giddy and giggly!!



My first award came from Katy Lin which i received several weeks ago and still have not come down from the high of being recognized. She is a SUPER sweet blogger buddy, who got me into the whole "My Hubby Rocks" thing, which I am VERY thankful for...it gives me the opportunity to honor him and serve him by showing the land of blog how great and wonderful of a man he is. As simple as this is, it has blessed me and my husband in ways i cannot explain....and you simply MUST join in the blessing!! Even though I have already claimed this award and reproduced it to other fine bloggers, i wanted to mention her because i am blessed by her blog on a regular basis!!



My second award, and one i have not claimed and reproduced came from Hot Tub Lizzy, whom i just cannot get enough of. She makes me roll...and she leaves FABULOUS comments on a regular basis, which i admit i am absolutely HORRIBLE at.....just because i don't leave comments all the time does NOT mean i don't read yalls blogs....I DO. Here it is:

There were no rules posted but I think it goes something like this:

1. Post your award in a blog and on your sidebar as a widget.

2. Pass the award onto at least 5 other bloggers that you admire or respect that are Edgy, Bold, Modern, Unique , Humorous or all of the above, with links to their sites and to the site of the awarder :).

3. Make sure to describe why it is you admire these particular bloggers.

And so with out further ado the bloggers in which I admire or respect that are Edgy, Bold, Modern, Unique , Humorous or all of the above are:

• Patrick- blog entitled "KOG media" or "Kingdom of God Media" this dude amazes me, and will have a special place in heaven im sure of it. What he does is he takes media ie movies, music, tv, etc etc and finds God in them, and writes about it on his site. I LOVE this idea, and secretly wish I had come up with it (well NOW its not a secret). Often times I find myself doing the same....even when I go see a movie with NO expectations of seeing the Lord work i most certainly can almost always find him doing just that. Thank you Patrick for doing what God created you to do. It has blessed me. You should absolutely go check it out.

• The Internet Cafe- Now I dont know who created this website, because there are several contributors and its not like i expect for them to come accept this award and pass it on unless they really want to....but my point for choosing them is because i do consider them to be BOLD. Anyone who speaks truth the way these ladies do, or sees Christ in simple daily activities as they do, or inspires people as they do, deserves to be honored. I spend almost EVERY morning reading their inspirational stories/devotionals to the Lord. They have truly been a vessel for the Lord in my life, speaking Godly truths to my soul. Bless you women who have done what the Lord has asked of you. Bless you for being "the Church" I would not have gotten through a few days over the last few months without your wisdom. You most definitely should check them out as well.

• Christie At "Pretty Paper Blog"- Okay so, I know ive plugged my business once in this post but im gonna do it again because i believe that making blogs "blogalicious" is a form of digital scrapbooking, if you will. I have indeed been a huge fan of scrappin, but DUDE it takes sooo much time, and as you can see, I HAVE NONE. So this business has allowed me to be creative in the same way, only online.....and speaking of creative HOLY SCHNIKES....this woman blows the DOORS off creativity....well, if creativity had doors she would blow them off. I am simply AMAZED at what she can do. And if i had time, i would do all the creative stuff she has blogged about. I know that one day when my kids are BOTH in school I can refer back to her blog and be as cool or at least ALMOST as cool as her.....if you are into scrappin or just being creative with paper and or pictures, hell even Chinese food take out boxes...your gonna wanna check this chick out yo!!!

• Brit at "The Perks Of Being Me"- First of all THIS is my fav design/client so far, and i don't say that to make any of our other clients feel bad, I loved working with you ALL. She was not only great to work with, but challenged me to make her site "HER" and that is why I love Brit AND her blog.....She is incredibly honest about her feelings and doesn't hold back just because of how it might make someone feel. Ironically, she came into my life around the time I was learning that God loves me JUST the way I am and I shouldn't worry about how the world sees me or my flaws, or as God sees it my "perfect mess". If she has a question, she asks....if she feels hurt or disappointed, she lets you know. And to be honest, that is the best way to be. Its called "authenticity" She is authentic, and it shows. She is genuine, and it is a blessing to see. If only everyone could be like her.

• Christiana at "The Esselman Family" first of all, she has the most adorable children and they make a beautiful family, and I love to go to her site to check out the pictures that she takes.....she is an amazing photographer and it inspires me to be more creative with the shots I take of my children. She makes everything look so simple and yet so ALIVE. I LOVE the shots of the newly engaged or soon to be married couple by the old car....and the bridge. You def want to check her out.

Now to my next award that was givin to me by Ugagirl30 whom I am thrilled to hear is lovin my superman story. I never expected that it would have such a following....I was even told by a GUY I know personally, the other day how much he enjoyed reading our story....wow! And I love how she said I am helping her learn to forgive.....you have NO idea how much that means.....at some point in my life i needed that too....and it gives me GREAT joy to know that I can help people with my experience. Check out her blogs about her "crazy and happy life" Here is the award, the rules and my choices:

There are some rules that go along with this:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.

3. Nominate at least 3 other blogs.

4. Add links to those blogs on your blog.

5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

• Rey at REYLO- I have known this man for a while now, he is a wonderful friend and an amazing example of someone who "walks with the Lord" He truly sees Jesus as his homie and has wonderful insights. He is a friend of mine who has given great advice over the years, and has prayed fervently for me and my family. I am thankful for he and his wife's friendship, without that I may not be where i am today spiritually. Thank you Rey and Jenn for your continued support. check em out!!

• Melody at "The Hip Mommas Journal" Her blog and photography speaks for itself, if you live in the area, you will DEF want to use her to take pics of your children. I already talked with her about doing pics for me.....i am speechless right now cause i just clicked on her page for the link address and saw what she posted yesterday......there aren't words to describe how wonderful she is with a camera. CHECK IT OUT, you will NOT be disappointed!!!

and last but DEFINITELY not least

• Danielle over at "Captian Pork Chops"- Their aren't many people in the world besides one of my best friends that can make me laugh like this chick. I NEVER read her blog if I am eating and or drinking anything, because 90% of the time what she writes is ridiculously hilarious. I love the story about being in the bathroom when someone comes to the door......i almost peed my pants....girl....you should join the cast of SNL fo sho!!! If you need an upper in the form of a blog, THIS is the place!!!

Sorry ladies for being a slacker......but thank you for the awards, it honestly makes my day.

Love to all!!!

My husband Rocks Friday

Plain and simple.....because he puts up with ME!!!!!!

All my whining and complaining....my nagging....my PMSin.........

But he also listens to me, protects me, worries about me and my choices.

He loves me........

Part 9 The saga continues in how I met the Loves of My Life...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8


He asked me if it was true.





My answer was yes.





He asked me why I didn't tell him.





I didn't have an answer.





I don't remember much of what he said , I do however remember it was very awkward, and I often wonder what he really thought of me after that. He could have just walked away, because of his beliefs, because of the kind of girl he wanted to be with....But...... he didn't.





I cant be sure why, I would like to say it was because he really liked me. But, truth be told we had only been a "couple" for a few months, so it wasn't like he was reeeeeally all that attached. Maybe he felt sorry for me, maybe he believed I was a"new" creation, or maybe he really did like me, maybe he felt that same connection that I felt. As i look back now, I laugh at how young and inexperienced we really were when it came to relationship. We were clueless. Relationship is soo much more than we knew....relationship is submitting to one another, and that has NOTHING to do with controlling one another.....its all about love.....and we were NOWHERE near that, then.......





I was glad that he stayed with me, I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I really liked my life at this point, I didn't want things to change.....I'm not good with change.





Just like a cheap soap opera "cute brothers friend" surfaces again. You know, how they will have a character that seems to go nowhere and then BAAM they return.....and your like "I KNEW IT" yeah well, I had been invited by my good friend Kimmy to go to the ever popular "Fiesta Texas" again (OH JOY) and we were just getting on the RATTLER, when what do ya know THERE HE IS.





Staci!!! Heeeey sweetie!!!





Oh Lord please nooooooo!! I thought (picture me running in slow mo)





Uh heh heh HI!! I said.



I could feel the chunks rising in my throat, i had been so happy with "that boy" that I had completely forgotten about "cute brothers friend"





"He how have you been?" I haven't heard from you in a long time?





"Ive been great, and you?" trying to take the focus off of me, and i was stoked because there was one more spot on the rattler for me and Kimmy and I was thinkin "good, i can get rid of him quick"





But oooo no thats not how it turned out, he actually recommended that he and I ride on the rattler and that his buddy and Kimmy take the next train.





AGGGHHHHHH!!





So we get on the ride and away we go, and just as we hit the main drop....yeah the one that takes your breathe away he says





"kiss me"





"HUH?"





"Kiss me for the picture"





(for those of you who don't know, the rattler takes a picture at the bottom of the drop)





Before I could say anything he had his arms around me and his face shoved against mine. The remainder of the ride i flailed around like a rag doll.....i think i went into shock and the ride continues to do twists and turns just like my stomach,What the......





As soon as i saw Kimmy I pulled her in the restroom near by and bawled my eyes out......





I cheeeeated on "that boy" whaaaaaaaa it was pathetic.....but what was I going to tell "that boy"





And what was I going to tell "Cute brothers friend" ?





I was in a pickle.......





I composed myself after much convincing from Kim that I did nothing wrong, walked outta the bathroom with my head held high and he knew something was wrong.....i cant hide these things, when i cry, which is rare, It leaves me all blotchy especially under my eyes and around my neck.



"Whats wrong?" He asked



"Nothing, I said"



"Do you want me to take you home?" I looked over at Kimmy and nodded and she said it was cool, her mom was coming to pick her up anyway. She understood that I needed to end this, before it got worse.



When we arrived at my mimaws he came in for a bit.



"E" I said



"I have to tell you something"



"yes??" he said



"Ive been asked to be someones girlfriend..." "And I accepted"



E or cute brothers friend was slightly taken aback.....this guy could have had anyone he wanted. He was very handsome. But oh no my friends "that boy" he had my heart....

Then cute brothers friend did something completely unexpected. He teared up, and got all emotional on me. What the..... I half expected him to tear me a new one, like Superman......however that was not the case.... in the end, he put his big boy pants on and threw in the towel...very graciously. He gave me a friendly hug and headed home....

Picture me wiping the sweat from my brow......

Real Raggin Wed

Okay girls time for this weeks edition of "Real Raggin Wednesday" Here are the rules





My rag this week is towards the person who first decided Jesse or Jessy or Jessie, is a unisex name.....why must you have done this to me?



So I'm drivin along, driving along drivin along when I decide,

"hey, why not use my gift card to massage envy."

I was on my way home from droppin off the kiddos at mimaws for a visit, and I had been staring at the computer all day, which gave me a heck of a crick in my neck, so i figured

"lets do this."



I really went in just to check it out. I hadn't ever been to Massage Envy and had no idea how it worked.



"Hi, I got a gift card from my friend for my birthday, and i wanted to come in and find out whats next in the process."



"Oh well have you ever been to massage envy before"



This is where I gave her a sarcastic "no"



"Okay well when you are a first time customer you receive your first hour massage at the cost of 39.99, so this 45 dollar gift card will cover your massage and 6 dollars towards gratuity."



"Do you have time for one now?"



"Jessy has an opening in about 10 mins."



This my friends is where things went wrong........

You see.....I am a rather modest person....when it comes to my body....no matter how much i weigh or how great my tan is, I don't DO being half naked. In a room. With a guy rubbin all over me. Its just awkward.



So when the woman says Jesse, I'm thinking "OH Jessy Spannow"....or "Jessica Simpson", you know JESSY shes a girl....WRONG.



I get situated in the relaxation room and in walks this blonde haired blue eyed 20 somethings Kid....i say kid because I'm almost thirty.....i consider myself no longer of that breed.

"Oh my, you have GOT to be kidding me" I thought.

"Hi Staci, I'm Jesse." "Can you tell me about some of your problem areas?"

I'm thinking "problem areas? " My problem area is the area rightch here that we are currently standing in. But something in me said "Grow up nerd"

So I put my big girl panties on..... and followed him into his room. Oh God I said followed him to his room (i am blushing.....SHUT UP STEPH)

So when we get to the room, he politely tells me that I may undress to whatever is comfortable.....I seriously considered keeping all my clothes on.....

I thought for a second and then realized that I had on a strapless bra....I figured this would be good since the blanket would be up to my neck for the first half of the massage.....and it would make me feel a tad bit more comfortable....

WRONG AGAIN!!!

Now, the first part of the massage was delightful.....I completely forgot about the whole "guy" issue....and had almost fallen into a deep sleep when he told me it was time to flip over....

"OH GOD" but he made this easy he held up the sheet so as not to get a peek at anything inappropriate......and then when he began to drape the sheets so as to work on my back......this is where things got the most awkward of all.

He gently tapped my shoulder and said

"Staci, would you mind if i undid this for you so that I can work on your back?"

*ahem* "sure" voice cracking

I could feel my whole body turn red, but i sooo could not contain myself from laughing like a 13 year old.....he must have gotten a good chuckle out of it as well.

GRRRREEEEAAAAT....my husbands gonna LOVE this story. And boy did he....and so did every other person i told.....I had numerous jokes where they asked "did he do it one handed?"

Oh the HORROR!!!!

So I am seriously disgruntled with the person who first decided it was a good idea to name their son Jesse!!!

But I guess I can let this one go......for now.....next time i will make sure to ask up front for a woman.


:)

Teenage Romance Part 8 in the story of How I Met the Loves of my Life

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7


When I returned home from Fiesta Texas I was in heaven. I had NO idea this would go down.....it was not in "my plan" that's for sure. I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from him that evening, we spoke on the phone for hours....until we both feel asleep on the phone. I remember waking up the next day to find the phone next to me, off the hook. I quickly picked it up and could still hear him breathing. I gently called his name,several times actually, but couldn't get him to wake up. I hung up the phone and plopped back down in bed thinking about how great of a guy he was, and how excited i was to have this new fresh relationship. He was a good "Christian" guy, i thought. I would never have to worry about the likes of superman again. I was soo lost in thought I fell back into a deep sleep. I was happy.

I'm sure we saw each other at Chi Alpha that Tuesday night, and I'm sure we sat next to each other, just as i am sure we held hands like any other couple our age would. I'm pretty sure that was also the night we planned our "first date"

Our "first date" took place at the Dollar Movie Theatre off of 410, ya know the one that is now the ghetto...... :) well, it was supposed to take place there, but when I arrived he approached the car and told me they were sold out of the movie we originally wanted to see. So, we asked if my grandparents would take us to the blockbuster and we rented a movie to watch. We headed back over to mi maws that evening and plopped down on the couch in the back room and popped in "Menace to Society" , yeah real romantic huh? And guess what? I don't remember a thing about what i was wearing, but I do remember his outfit. A green Tommy, dark jeans, and Aqua de Gio cologne.....I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. I still remember it like it was yesterday. My grandparents took him home after the movie was over and he called me the moment he returned home, we talked all night and once again fell asleep on the phone. I awoke to my grandparents door bell and voices saying

"we've been trying to call you all morning, we were worried so we came over to check on you"

"holy shnikes" I thought, and i quickly hung up the phone that was laying on the floor, off the hook, and totally played if off when my grandma came in to scold me for holding up the line. :)

Most nights ended this way, our relationship was a happy teenage romance until he heard the rumors of superman........

I still remember the pain/anger in his voice when he began to speak......

"Matthew told me something, and... and well I just don't know if i should believe it"

I was shocked. I couldn't, well I could.....but how.....he was in High school (only a year older, a freshman)......in a completely different school, and yet he was "hearing" things about me.......I was sooo hurt. Not just because people were talking, but because it mattered.......

Wall-e

Okay, now I am as big a Disney movie fan as they come.......but this movie has outdone them all!!! I say this in MY opinion of course. But you simply MUST see this movie.

Picture Logan Landon and then Me with snot running outta my nose and tears trailing my cheeks.....yeah, embarrassing........

It was the most beautiful story line I had ever seen, and yet there was practically NO dialogue for the first half of the movie....I have a two year old people......if he could sit through it ANYONE CAN!!! I mean to tell you he was glued. And I KNOW he understood what was going on because he kept reaching over to love on me. Every now and again i would feel his lil hand come and grab mine, or i would feel him begin to rub my back.....isn't that the sweetest thing you ever heard? Seriously....that didn't help my blubbering. :)

First of all Wall-e was the cutest darn thing this side of the Pecos. It totally took me back to the days when Short Circuit was popular......One of my Bee Fris Amy totally mentioned that before I went in, and she was right, he sort of looked and even slightly acted like Number 5, but most importantly grabs your heart in the same way.......

Then there was Eve or as Wall-e calls her EVE-A, she was rad!!! She totally kicked butt!!! And has a soft side as well.


Like I said there was hardly any dialogue but it didn't matter at all because you understood the emotion without it.

Finally when humans come into the picture, they do an amazing job at making you realize how beautiful our world is and how important it is to take care of it. And how we ought to not just survive but LIVE!!!

Finally I would like to note that there is a ROACH in this movie.......if I can get past this my friends and STILL enjoy it.......well then you know it is a movie worth watching.

Oh so NOW you wanna pay tenntion??? Part7 How I Met the Loves of my Life...

* warning cheesy Christian music playing in the background.....just takin it back to the old school....cause im sooo cool......anyway, all you chi alphians will appriciate it....other wise i apologize.


Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Coming down/back home from the high of being at Spring Thing was rough....even though I knew I would see all of these people at Chi Alpha once a week....or even sometimes at school....it was back to reality people, back to school where now I was known as the "Jesus Freak". Figures.....why couldn't they just let me be?? I guess that's the price you pay when you run with a "click". I just wanted to be me, do what I wanted to do without any ones judgement.

None the less I returned home and most was as it was before.....remember "Cute brother friend" well it was like he had a radar....as soon as i returned he knew and was at my door step courting me for a date. I was rather uncomfortable considering......he was two years older than me, he had a car....it was too much for me to handle.....and so i tried to put him off as much as i could..... But sure enough a couple of days later there was a dozen roses and a love note on my door step. "oh come ON" I thought...... seriously...... I wasn't dumb, i knew what he wanted. And i wouldn't have been surprised if he had "known" since the entire Coke Stevenson Middle School new by then, AND it might as well have started circulating in the near by High Schools. I just threw the flowers away and the note aside. He was cute but I didn't care.

That following weekend H (my brothers now EX girlfriend) called me up and asked me if I wanted to go with her to Fiesta Texas!!! The exclamation points are for you.....that's my sarcasm...... Anyway, she said that

"she and J dog and (drum roll) cutie from spring thing aka "that boy" were going.....and "that boy" wanted me to go"

Now, lets rewind a bit.....remember how "that boy" got all weird on me at Spring Thing after D.R. teased him about our "Spring Fling" that lasted 2.5 seconds......YEAH RIIIIIGHT i wanna go see him REEEEEEALL bad......

I was like "NAH, that's okay H, ill pass"

"Awwww come on Staaaaacccce" she said "Puuuulleeeeeease, Jdog (this is "that boys" bee fri) said that he really likes you and is thinking about asking you out"

HUR???? Hold the phone.......Whaaa??

To me this was almost too funny, i mean who does this chap think he is??

I think it was just too interesting to pass up..........yeah, that's it.....I just wanted to give him a piece of my mind.........;) So I have my parents drop me off at the front gates and off I go to meet up with H, Jdog and That Boy.

Okay so what is it with me and remembering what I am wearing.......but that's just it....I did.....and this only happens on occasions that are really special or sooo horrible they end up being burnt into my memory. This was more on the special side. I was wearing a maroon, yellow , orange, and navy striped shirt, with dark blue daisy dukes......and brown sandals. An outfit I might wear now if I could fit my arse into those size zeros.....oh those were the days...can I get an AMEN??? Anyway, I haven't the foggiest what he was wearing.......but I guess that's because once I saw him, that smile, those sweet squity eyes.....I kept trying to keep myself from looking in his direction for fear i might feel that same connection.

That day was great, we had a blast all getting to know one another in this environment....he was funny, outgoing....I liked that....I always liked boys who could make me chuckle......and he could........boy could he. We laughed and flirted all day, until we were standing in line for the electric cars and he grabbed me by my belt loops, and pulled me toward him but then gently turned me around and wrapped his arms around me, and gave me a big squeeze. For a moment, I almost burst into tears......it was the first time in months that someone had held me like that......but it was sooo innocent....so "my age" and so comfortable.

Once we got in the car, for a few mins it was just me. and him. Their was silence for a time, and just like in the movies, yawned...put his arms around my shoulders.....smiled.......and said:

"So.....ya wanna go out?"

I died laughing, but of course accepted..........it was April 1st 1994 (yes i know....April fools.....and no it wasn't a joke)

After the cars we met up with H and Jdog and found out that they too were a new couple....at least I think that is when he asked her.....H......You remember, was it the cars or the fire works??? Anyway, we met up and watched the fireworks together under the stars of Texas.....lol

So I went to give him a piece of my mind, and yet left without a piece of my heart.......

Yes my friends there is more..............

My Husband Rocks Fridays.....

My husband is and always has been the most humble man I know, you will never hear him brag about himself, or any of his accomplishments (unless of course its about this lil family he has created) he has always kept quite about the things that matter most to the majority of society....ie money, material possessions etc etc...... I have always admired that about him and wished I could walk in such humility as he......

Yesterday Jason received some "not so good news" where his job is concerned. I wont go into detail but it has affected him significantly. He kept to himself most of the day (he had yesterday off) and seemed sorta standoffish. Because of my many insecurities I of course thought I had done something wrong.....I questioned and questioned (i would have wanted to punch me) and he just remained calm. Later at dinner, when the kids were done and he could address me without having to upset the kids in the process, he began to tell me the situation......

I watched as his beautiful happy eyes began to well up with water as he said these words:

"All I want to do is be able to take care of you and the kids"

It took all i had with in me to not bust in to tears, but I just remained strong for his sake and reminded him that "the Lord has our back yo"

My husband rocks because he doesn't care about all the material things that we could afford with this type of position, but because of what it will do for the security of our children's future and mine......he is truly selfless......

I love you ninanit!!!!

Real Raggin Wednesday

Welcome to Real Raggin Wed. If you don't know the rules......read THIS

I know i know, i am a slacker for being so late in the day, but hey, its still Wednesday!!!

Today, I had a reason, I have been laid up in bed for the majority of the day, unless it was to run to the bathroom for one of two reasons.....to explain would be TMI so lets move on.....

I chose to rag on the waitress from a lovely lil Mexican restaurant called Casa Sol.

Dear waitress,

Next time you grab a glass to fill with ice tea, could you please check and make sure that it does not have a baby roach laying in the bottom of it. That would save you a heck of a lot of trouble when i see it and start going into shock (just so yall know, I have a horrible phobia of roaches)......so much so that I forget to tell you that I want double rice, because I hate refried beans.....and please if I ask for a beef filled chimichangas, can you please make sure that it is filled with beef rather than MORE refried beans? Maybe it was because you dont understand English.... quite honestly i didn't understand a word you said ethier....but just because we live in San Antonio, does not mean we know Spanish as our second language.....

Now, I cant be too sure because virus' have been rampid lately.....but i wouldn't be surprised if im running to the bathroom every five mins because of this place.....

But I guess since I am such i nice person i will forgive you......but that doesn't mean i have to eat there again......

This was soo lame....but i really dont have anything else to rag about.......

Leave me a comment here if you ragged so i can check it out.

peace out

He Died for me?? Part 6 of How I met the loves of my life....

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5


By the way, i like the idea of a soundtrack to my story, so everytime i write another piece i will add a song to the top of the list......I think this song is very fitting for this portion of the story.....

I remember it like it was yesterday, I was wearing (oh dear God why???) a sleeveless denim button up shirt with blue and yellow floral print shorts, and Lee Lee was dressed almost identical.

Now I know I have not mentioned Lee Lee (you must be thinking "who names these people, again fake name) before, but she was my best friend at the time....in fact she was there for me through the whole "Superman" ordeal. She was always there for me, she listened to me, truly listened.....and I trusted her like i did no one else at the time. She was a quiet, but absolutely beautiful girl, and a wonderful friend. I still run into her from time to time and will always be grateful to her and how she got me through some of the most difficult situations, with family, with life and with Superman.

As I was saying, I remember it like it was yesterday....even down to what I wore. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach as we were getting ready to leave for T Bar M. I was never good with going away from my element, especially with people I wasn't particularly close too. T Bar M was where "Spring Thing" was held every year. It is a quiet little resort just off of Highway 46. It has these cute little cabins, a swimming pool, a gym with B-ball courts and ping pong tables, a sanctuary and tennis courts. And that my friends was about it. Well, except for the FABULOUS ropes courses. But we'll get to that later. T Bar M may not have been Disney World, but it was a place that I consistently, every year, experienced God.

So we are all standing around, waiting for all the Spring Thing campers to arrive and I notice this boy standing across the parking lot, joking around with his friends. Now, I had seen this boy a few times before at Chi Alpha. He was ALWAYS late, and in uniform.....baseball, soccer, basketball jersey....you name it....obviously he played lots of sports. Either that or he just really liked to dress like a sports player. :) He was tall and lanky....freckles for miles and the sweetest darn smile i had ever seen. His smile was so big it made his eyes squint. I remember thinking to myself...

"what a cutie"

Honestly, I didn't think to much about him on the ride there, or even the first few days of the trip.....I was too busy wondering why I was here.....I almost felt like I was doing something wrong by pretending that my life was as innocent as everyone else's. Everyone seemed so free, so child like, so innocent. Like they didn't have a care in the world. I was carrying around some heavy burdens on my back, that weighed me down like a ton of bricks. I just didn't belong.

The first few days, although difficult to maintain a happy presence, were some of the best days of my life.....I learned alot about God, and even got to learn how important trusting your best friend is.....especially when your 50 feet in the air leaning on her. The ropes courses, although scary as hell, were a great way to teach people how to work as a team, and how to trust one another even in the most difficult situations. After the first time on the screamer....I was HOOKED.....i am a sucker for anything scary....i like the adrenaline rush i guess.....most people think i am nuts, but if you offered to teach me how, id sky dive in a heart beat. :)

A few days into the retreat me and Lee Lee and one of the guys we had met were sitting in the middle of the wooded area (where the ropes courses were situated) on a bench swing that hung from two trees. The three of us were just shootin the breeze when "that boy" that I had noticed a few days before walked up.

"Hey Matthew" he said to our new friend

"Whats up?" he continued

"Ah nothing, just hangin out talkin" Matthew said

At this point i could feel my heart begin to beat at a faster pace, and i almost felt sick to my tummy..."what the...." I thought, why am i getting all nervous.

I was trying soo hard not to be attracted to anyone, or anything of that sort because of what had just happened between me and superman..... I mean it was only a few weeks before that I had told him we were done, and he ripped my heart outta my chest and stomped on it. Not to mention there was this cute friend of my brothers that had been trying to get my attention for weeks......although he was a gentleman, and very good looking....i wasn't all that interested. He kinda seemed interested in me for all the wrong reasons......and i am a great judge of character so i was following my instincts on this one.....i was nice to him....but never gave him an inch.

Anyway he seemed to look as nervous as i when he muttered

"What, I don't get to sit down?"

"Oh," I said nervously like i had done something wrong

"Here, go ahead" standing to my feet and pointing toward the swing

"Sure," he said as he took a seat

"well....uh.....you can sit in my lap if you want??"

Don't ask me why but I accepted......it was all very awkward, and I'm sure Matthew and Lee Lee were smirking and making silly laughing noises behind our backs, but I didn't notice because just for a slight moment our eyes met as i grinned at him sheepishly.....he had the most beautiful green eyes......which i hadn't seen before because of his HUGE smile i described previously. When i realized I had a connection with him I jumped off his lap and changed the subject to something such as:

"Hey, lets go to the gym and play some ping pong"

As for our connection, it quickly faded when D.R realized what was going on.....if he was let in on the scoop about any boy /girl connections, he would tease the object of your affection mercilessly until the young boy decides its not worth the hassle. I was a tad displeased that he ignored me the remainder of the trip, but not heart broken by any means......

The last evening of the trip was a night I will never forget, because it was the night that I became a child of God.

As we entered the room it was dark except for the light of a single candle. D.R started by saying that this was called the "love candle" and the rules were you were supposed to talk about someone in the room that you loved and why.....then you would pass that candle on to the person you spoke of and so on and so fourth. It was amazing to see the love between all of these new friends of mine, but also to know that they loved me.....and i was finally beginning to believe it. What an emotional beautiful night, I bawled, like a baby in diapers. But what i still didn't understand, is that God loved me even more. Oh how that made me weep even more. I wanted what they had sooo extremely bad that i ached from physical pain. After the people in the circle began to leave and dry their tears.....i just continued to sob. I could NOT shut off the flood gates. It was awful.

Lee Lee just didn't know what to say, or do. And finally Jean (D.R's wife) came up to me and asked :

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

I began to explain to her that I was sad....that i wished that I could be loved by God. But that I was tarnished. And their was no way he would accept me into his kingdom.

I don't know that this took her by surprise, although it should have.....D.R preached almost every week on God's love and forgiveness.....I just couldn't hear it. She gently explained that she too had experienced similar emotions before accepting Jesus into her heart. She said that although we as humans may not accept others who have sinned, that Christ loved me soo much he died for mine. He already knew what I would do before my lil toes even touched the ground. He CREATED me. And he LOVED me just the way i was.

That night I prayed that God would accept me into his Kingdom. And asked Him to walk with me through my crazy wonderful life. It was the best thing i ever did for myself. I sometimes look back and wonder why I ever forgot that he loves me JUST THE WAY I AM. I often find myself wishing that I could remember that feeling of safety and security no matter what i did or do or am going to do.

Yes my friends there is more........

God's Voice In Tiny Creatures........

As I sat and pondered the last year of my life I realized that I went through a major transformation. What I have become, or rather who i have become was nothing like I was........

I have grown considerably in every area of my life. And when I think about the amount of time it took to get to where I am physically, mentally, spiritually, I am astonished.

I became to understand that if I just invest the time, in not only myself, but in my God I could accomplish and overcome many things. All day long these verses kept lingering in my mind......

Psalm 139: 13-18

13 You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

Just to know that before my birth, ALL the days of my life were written before they came to be....it makes me feel soo comforted.....so loved.

This past year, although the result being my faith, my marriage and my mother hood standing on a solid foundation, has not been with out pain and heart ache. And God revealed to me something beautiful this past weekend. Although simple, it drives the point straight home.

I happened to be sitting out on the porch of a dear friends family home this past weekend, and the sun had juuust started to set. Over to the left my friend began to point out that it was about time for the humming birds to feed.

Apparently, these birds have their feeding schedule down....I'm totally good with that.....i like schedules, and if i lived here, in this peaceful place, i would spend every morning and evening time right where I was.....watching those beautiful delicate creatures fight for food.

The family hosts three feeders, and each feeder was FULL of lil tiny feet. Although tiny and fragile, these birds are FULL of FIRE!! I mean to tell you, if there wasn't room for one to feed, it would fly waaaay up and spiral straight at the feeder without fear, hoping to scare the bejesus out of their target (one of the other lil guys)

I began to compare myself to these precious creatures....I thought "Man isn't that like me over the past year.....fighting anything and everything that has kept me from my target......the fruit of my survival......"

You see, Jesus, for me. is my only way to survive. Spending time with Him, allowing Him to feed me and fill me with his love, it is the very fruit of my soul. It spins every other aspect of my life into motion, and I have become that humming bird, marking my target and spiraling toward it without fear.....

Naturally, like the birds, to reach their goal may be painful.....at least it looked that way to me as i watched them spiral into one another. And for me, this conversion has been just that.....

I am drawn to the story of Abraham and his son Issac. Abraham and his wife Sarah had prayed for years for a child, and finally at a rather unlikely age, God blessed them with a beautiful son that God would one day ask to be made a sacrifice.

What would you do?? I don't think your answer would be any different from mine......RUUUUUNNNN!!!! Right?? But Abraham doesn't......he faithfully takes this precious gift to the top of mountain, allll the while on the way up his lil Issac repeatedly asks "father where is the animal in which we are going to sacrifice?" OMG couldn't you just die......

But Abraham only answers "God will provide"

What faith/trust this father had in our Lord......he continues in the process all the way up until the very last second before he has to kill his only child with his beloved and then the Lord intercedes......WOW.....

I am drawn to this because I was REALLY struggling with a particular sacrifice that the Lord asked me to offer up. I am here to tell you I went kicking and screaming.....I didn't understand, and at times still struggle immensely. But I obeyed.

After I had carried my sacrifice up this mountain of sadness, hurt, depression.......I left it at his feet and walked away......struggling to hold my head high......God brought this story to my attention again.....

I can't begin to know what it was like to have God intercede and return his precious gift. But I imagine it only strengthened his already solid relationship with his eternal Father. But I can relate to the pain he must have felt......sheesh I can barely type the story without feeling emotional.....

Listen up people, God never said walking the straight and narrow path would be without pain......if you can find a verse that proves other wise let me know. Some of Gods most influential disciples have had to endure pain beyond what I could ever imagine.......but isn't it amazing how God Always uses those situations to give us hope?? And hope is what inspires us.......

So over the past year I have grown, and I feel security like I have never felt. I am incredibly happy. God is revealing just a bit of his purpose for me everyday. It feels great to just be the me that he created and receive his blessings of love and to hear his sweet voice in places soo unexpected as i did in these tiny birds.

Happy Bday to Me........

First of all thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, it made me soo happy to see all of the well wishes.

Some of yall asked how it was.....it was great!!!

Jay got up early with the kiddos, and let me sleep in.....i was in a serious DEAD sleep when they busted in the room with breakfast tacos and coffee singing Happy birthday tooo yoooou!! It was very sweet!!!!! But i am severely happy that noone had a video camera because when i finally recovered from the shock of being awoken out of a dead sleep, and my heart beat returned to a somewhat normal pace.....i looked in the mirror and realized i looked 3 times my age and like i had stuck a metal fork in a light socket!! My hair was ridiculous.........

My parents came to get the boys around noon, and then jay took me to La Cantera Mall to do some shoppin.

Now, let me remind you all that although this mall has a ton of fancy stores and is like walking around in a park (it is out doors and beautifully landscaped) I am NOT a fan......

I just cannot stand to see people dressed like they have just been a model in a fashion show. WHY?? Why do people feel like they have to dress like this just to shop?? Shoot, here i am in my sweat pants a t-shirt and my hair thrown up in a clip and some hot mom walks past me with her Juicy track suit, Gucci sunglasses and Louis Vuiton purse.......i just wanna crawl into a cave. That's not to say i am not fashionable....but only when im out for a purpose, i mean there is a time and a place for this kinda dress people, ie bday party, dinner with hubby....yada yada..... but its not like your gonna pick up a hott date at the mall people!!! And we aren't on sunset blvd. and this is NOT the movie pretty woman.....you don't have to look like you just won a million bucks!!! okay ill shut up now..... BUT it was sweet of him to THINK that because i am a girl, i would like to shop there. AND this is the closest place to our home that has an American Eagle and Abersnobby..... okay some of yall are rolling your eyes......BUT there are two things i get from these places Abersnobby has AWESOME crop sweats and t's and American Eagle has awesome shorts and jeans, infact i buy ALL my shorts and jeans from there......

Moving along, they both had great sales, i got a total of 6 shirts and three pairs of shorts. AND for those of yall who know me....you know i have wanted to throw my phone against the wall for months now......I have the treo.....which i know is supposed to be one of the coolest phones to have.......DONT BELIEVE THE LIES.....it is sooo not cool.....i drop 90% of my calls and not because of our service.....i would venture to say it is because this is the 2nd refurbished phone we have gotten. SPRINT IDIOTS LISTEN UP, REFURBISHED PHONES DONT WORK, STOP REFURBISHING AND GIVE US NEW PHONES WHEN OURS MESS UP!!! sorry had to get that out!!!

So moving along yet again, we go to sprint and nicely state that even though we signed a new contract in December of last year we STILL have not received our 150. dollar rebate on our bill.....and i also make sure to throw in a rant about how BAD my phone SUCKS!!! We ended up leaving the store with 150 dollars credited to our acct AND a brand new palm (red) that normally costs 399.99 for FREE!!! CHU CHING.....HAPPY BEEEDAY STACI!!! When we get in the car jay totally pulled a napoleon dynamite "Yeeeeessssssssss" "First bday present free!!!!" nerd.

Then we head home so that I can change into one of my new super cute shirts, here i am wearing it. I bought three of these in different colors......

Then we head over to my friend Manda Kay's parents house.

I have known Manda Kay since i was about 8 years old. She and I met at the skating rink and have been buds every since. I don't even really consider her a friend....she is just family now. I call her parents mom and dad, just as she does mine, and if i am ever at her house or even her parents i can just open the door and or fridge without there being any awkwardness..... :)

Mandy just graduated from LVN school and this is a big deal.......it was a great bday present for me to see her accomplish something like this that meant so much to her. Her parents decided to throw her a grad party and my bday was the only day they could do it this month....she called me up and explained, and asked if i could pleeease stop by even though it was my bday. Seriously, i have bdays every year, this only happens once right? So we headed out there, and they had bought me balloons and a cake and everything, it was very sweet of them to make this special for me as well.

We did two of my very favorite things. We played poker and sang karaoke.

It was soo much fun!!!

Well i better go, my family is coming over today to celebrate......

Thanks again for all the bday wishes!!!

My Hubby Rocks

My husband rocks today, because he came with me to "THE ADAMS FAMILY REUNION" that we hold every year at the Medina river....my family is outta control....but ooooo so much fun to be with.....can i get an AMEN???

My husband rocks today because he really didn't feel like going, his back is reeeeaaalllly hurting, but he came anyway because he knows how much i enjoy my crazy family!!!

My husband rocks today because he told me on the way home that hes letting me sleep in tomorrow for my birt-day (thats baby talk for birthday) and hes making me bre-fass (thats baby talk for breakfast)AND hes takin me shoppin......what a man!!!

Chi Alpha .....

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4



This event begins in October of 93', at this point i am still with Superman, but he had already tried to break up with me, this happened soon after that. I broke up with him in March of 94' just want you to know I'm rewinding a bit, so that you can see how God was trying to grab hold of my heart.....



It was a normal day, I had gotten home from school just a few hours prior and my older brother came to me and asked if i would like to go with him to Chi Alpha.



"Chi Alpha?" i said sarcastically



"What the heck is Chi Alpha?"



"Well," he began "It's this church youth group I've been going to with H."



H was my brother's girlfriend at the time....



"And you've got to hear this girl sing!!" he exclaimed



"What girl?" I sneered



"I think her name is Stephanie, but anyway, shes awesome!!"



(little did I know, this "awesome singer" would later become one of my best friends, so yes, if your wondering, he was talking about Stephy)



I was very hesitant in answering.... after all, what was the point?? Who would accept ME?? After everything I had done, after all I had let him do to me??? There was nooo way I would ever be accepted by God much less those perfect Christan's. I was a "slut", I was "gullible", I was "stupid", and I was "worthless" . I had bought into those lies, the lies he spoke and the lies I eventually believed and carried around like a scarlet letter on my chest.



I don't know what led me to make the decision to go that night. Maybe it was God, maybe it was that my brother was inviting me, we hadn't connected in this way for years, or maybe it was a combination of both. But I accepted his invitation, and gathered my things so that we could head out the door. Chi Alpha was held only blocks away from my home.......coincidence??





When we arrived i was greeted by a cool lookin, dark, flopped hair, sunglasses, kinda guy.....he reached out his hand and introduced himself as Mark (again not a real name, i just feel wrong about using real names without permission......but you know who you are....)



"Hi, im Mark!!" he said "Welcome to Chi Alpha."



"Hi, uh, Mark, im uh Staci."



"Good, to meet you, is this your first time" he then pointed to my brother



"Hey ive seen you here before, with H right?"



Bro nodded



"Yeah, yeah, yall related?" we both nodded "Well have fun!"



At this point im like glued to my brother, I had just had my heart broken in to a million pieces and then told to forget it ever happened, so i was veeery confused......and I knew what had happened in Gods eyes was wrong. I wanted sooo badly to be invisible. But the people here were just sooo nice......soon after we walked away from Mark we were approached by this older, curly haired, mullet guy (tee hee, you SO had a mullet) named D. R. , and whats worse is he had a video camera pointed RIGHT at my face. Im not cool with cameras, unless you ask nicely!! :)



"Hey there, im D.R. glad you could make it tonight!" he said



"And what would be your name?"



"Staci, im HIS (pointing to my brother to take the focus off of me) sister"



"oooooh (grabbin bro by the shoulders and shakin him around playfully) your related to thiiiis guy huh?" "Im sorry."



I laughed, i liked this guy....he seemed cool....who is he? I thought



Turns out D.R. was the pastor.....the youth minister.



So we took our seats and the presentation of the bible began.



First there was a video, a video of just kids, lots of kids, and the i started to realize "hey that's...." "and that's" It was a video obviously put together from previous Chi Alpha Meetings. And the music was kinda cool (in a 90's contemporary Christian way ;) )



After the video there was a skit of some sort, and then a band with music, and Steph. I remembered thinking "Hmp, shes really good" this was really enjoyable.



I went EVERY Tuesday for months, I made some great friends, friends i have even to this very day. And every Tuesday I enjoyed it even more than the week before........and every Tuesday at the end of each service, D.R would turn serious....And then it was time........time for "THE PRAYER" the prayer of salvation.



And every time I remember feeling my heart sink, i just lowered my head and didn't mutter a word. "Man I wish i could say that prayer." I thought to myself.....



Oh how i wished I could have the happiness that all these friends of mine had.........



But i didn't believe it was attainable.



I still believed the lies...........

And it wasn't until March 1994, Spring Thing (spring break youth camp) that I would finally understand......How deep, how wide, and how much my God really did love me......

more to come.............

Real Raggin Wednesday

Welcome to this weeks edition of "Real Raggin Wed" thank you to Lizzy for reminding me because i was working on the object of my rag i almost forgot....yeah that's how focused I am......

First of all, if you have NO idea what I am talkin about, read THIS.

Okay so today, I choose to rag on Blogger.....now, I'm sorry, but I just cannot take it........all I want is for my page to end people....that's it, it cant be that difficult.....and when it ends, I would most certainly like for it to end....Oh i don't know......EVENLY MAYBE???

So like any good blog designer out there I get on google and literally spend the first two hours of my day searchin for a code........NOTHING......even my brilliant friend Chris is STILL searchin.....(hey Chris, sup?) im like an addict waiting for my drugs (that was ugly, I'm sorry) but seriously I'm sitting here staring at my yahoo instant messenger rubbing my hands together cause i just KNOW Chris will come up with something........so far nothing, but I'm exhausted.

I know you guys are like, dude take a pill.....but i am soooo OCD with these types of things, they kill me.

Because I know that Chris can do anything with code and computers....I'm going to go ahead and forgive blogger.....its not your fault that I have messed with the HTML and caused my OCD to take over my body today.......

Your forgiven.....

I am sooo gonna regret this aren't i Steph (considering this is not gonna be the last of our blogger issues)

If your participating in Real Raggin Wed. Post a comment here so i can check yours out!!!!

So You Think You Can Dance....again

I told yall if i could find that sick group dance from last week SYTYCD i would post it, here it is....i freakin love this song too.......the artist is Charlotte Martin, and the Choreographer was Mia Micheal's (my fav)

Leading You to the Loves of my Life......

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3



I would just like for all of you to know something.......although incredibly painful, and at times still affecting my life......I truly believe that what i experienced with Superman was meant to happen.

I know I sound terribly dramatic, but I have withheld specific details about the situation, they are not as important for you to know as this......

I was a child.

I was not ready for these types of things to be introduced

And I have paid for the decisions I made, even if manipulation made my choice.

It has affected not only how i deal with new people, in specifics...TRUST, but it has also affected my marriage. I also understand that HE TOO, was young, and made a mistake. And I am proud to admit i am currently working on forgiving him, and moving forward.....yes, i have held onto this for 15years.....and let me tell you.....it is freeing to learn how to forgive......

BUT, I know that i am a vessel.....I know I was created to be used by God to help others in my situation, whether it be you, OR a friend, daughter, coworker....you name it. I believe the Lord has us go through these things so that we may in turn help others walk through their pain and come out NEW on the other side of it.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because I am fine. THIS is not what my life is about, and sometimes i go YEARS without thinking about this situation......

This story AGAIN, leads into the story of how i was SAVED by God, and met the loves of my life.......my husband, and my two beautiful boys.....

And, no need to worry about my man, he has not only read all three parts, but has been a big part of how i have relayed it to you all.....many thanks for your comments of love and support......they mean the most......God is using this story in ways you wouldnt believe, and THIS my friends is why i write it.

More to come.......