Happy Birthday Nin

To the love of my life.

I am very grateful that you were born.

You fill my life with Joy,

May you have many more!

Christmas Aftermath

So the last two days has consisted of me opening up new toys and putting away old ones, not to mention finding a place for all the dang trains in my life.....yes my youngest is obsessed with trains.

Exhibit A.


This is a box that I put the last drain that sat on the train table to make room for the new train, i just slid it underneath the table.

Exibit B.
Because the train table drawer is already filled to the brim with older trains.

Exhibit C.

Here is another train set that sits on the floor....

And after all the trouble the new wooden Polar Express Edition train still remains on the floor because it is YES , too big to fit on the table!!! Im pretty sure I did everything i could with the exception of asking my husband a hundred times "ARE YOU SURE it wont fit??"

Here are some of the new and exciting toys i had to clean the closet out to make room for....

Bat man castle with about 100 accessories....and a pirate ship with about 1000 accessories and random African safari style accessories......
Toy Bosch tool set complete with a chain saw, hard hat googles and a power drill....it even comes with a car that you can build and break down.....really screws the bolts in and out.... What the eff??
And after all my hard work getting the house back in order, wouldn't you know they wanted a "FORT" I'm like "here" as i proceed to get some unused PVC pipes, that I used in the baby rave party (i threw a glow party for my child, this is another story for another blog) and laid them across the twin beds and laid a blanket over it.....

They were satisfied, i promise....then in walks Jason.....

He kindly informs me it was a "good try" but "were gonna show you how boys do it up right"

Then he proceeds to undo the hours of organization and cleanliness I bestowed upon our house.

Here he is being all BOY

yes that is Duct tape

even dabbled in child slave labor

and WHALA, hours of fun and hours of mommy cleaning up tomorrow.....

Its all worth it to see these smiles.....Look at Landon in his new batman pjs....isnt he cute??

This was after j playfully slaps landon across the dome....i think he is saying something like "daaad stop it"

Then he slaps him back, ATTA boy!!!

I guess this is now the "baby fight club"

Anyway, back to work!!!

Presents!!!

Christmas was wonderful.....my favorite gift was seeing my babies faces as they opened their favorite gifts!!! Aside from that, i get to go get a facial for Christmas...nothing compares to that!!! Ill let you know how it goes!! Don't be jealous!

Here are some pictures of my babies at Christmas!



Tinker Bell movie?? Yes, that is what my logan wanted from santa.......sheesh!


Our living area!
Hubby given me love cause i got him this!!




Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to all.....

So yesterday was one of those days, ya know the ones.....GOD I HOPE NO ONE SEES ME LIKE THIS!!!

Yes i stayed in my pjs all day, shooooot i don't even think i brushed my teeth yesterday morning ;)

Truth be told, i stay in my pjs almost everyday!! LOL I ALWAYS dress my kiddos though, but this day.....NOT SO MUCH.

Anyway, some of yall know by now im slightly OCD. REALLY. Everything has to be in its place, or rather, everything must be in control in my environment or i simply cannot function....its weird i know but true....so naturally everything must MATCH. :) So in my living room we have the decorative Christmas tree. ALL MATCHY MATCHY with my living room.

I know I know, i have kids and its just not fair.....CHILL, I have a tree for them too with which i let them decorate all on their own and now EVERYONE IS HAPPY!!!

So I turned on the ole Christmas music (courtesy of Time Warner Cable) made some hot chocolate, laid all the ornaments out on the table (my mother and mother in law are OBSESSED with hallmark ornaments so we have a bujillion) and let them begin.

Here are some of our favorite ornaments, this one is sooo pretty it lights up....its like a stained glass window.Heres my lil man in 2004, good gracious that was 4 years ago!! aww poor baby, he used to cry ALL DAY at day care....i tried to put him in a few times a week to socialize him....didnt work, he would sit by the door ALLLL day and say "momma be right back" it was torture. So as you can tell he wouldnt even straighten up to say cheese, and notice he has his coat on, this is because he refused to take it off cause "momma be right back" HORRIBLE, makes me all teary just thinkin of it!!!

Good ole Mr. Grinch....man he has a "you stink" look to his face dont he?? Mr. Grinch cant even stand the sight of me.....
Here's lil Logie pre K so this was two Christmas's ago, notice he looks stuffy....yeah ALWAYS at this time of year....makes for FABULOUS pictures , what with his chapped upper lip and all....
This is the littlest angel, thats what my pipaw used to call me....so my mom always gets me angel paraphanalia.....thats how i got obsessed with willow trees!!
Peter
the most famous reindeer of all.

And Finally the lil tree all lit up. I would show you pics of the kids but i had the same feeling about them as i did me...."God i hope noone sees my children like this" ;)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Miss you.......

Anyone watch the hills.....anyone??

Before you call me an adolescent and laugh in my face understand that Jesus would be VERY disappointed in you for making fun!!! Really...he doesn't take it lightly!! He has my back yo!!

Anyway, YES i am a fan, AND not only am I a fan but (hold the phone) my husband is too!!! Im okay with you making fun of that, cause its just not right....lol. Although his main reason for watching is to observe Spencer's jackassedness, Jason has not one mean bone in his body, so it shocks him that this dude can be soo horrible and yet still be liked by anyone. He sits next to me with a some what bored look on his face until spank comes into view....then this smirk slides wistfully across his face......its amusing. :)

Moving along, as i said I am a fan. Ive been watching Laurens dramatic life play out since the wee days of Laguna Beach. I obsessed over her obsession with Stephen, and loathed Kristen Cava-sluttee right along with her.

Then I lived vicariously through her when she moved to "The Hills" and decided to go for a life in fashion, and was pleased with her decision to have feisty Heidi as her Bee Fri.

And next i was distraught for her when Heidz started putting Spank before their friendship, and heartbroken for her when Heidi chose her bro over her hoe.

But i was satisfied with her life because she had Whit, and Audrina, and somewhere in all this mess Lo comes back into the picture. Lo is cool but im not quite sure i can read her.....that bothers me a tad.

Oh and lets not forget Justin Bobby, he is just a KEEPER isnt he?? Ive had many a screaming session at the TV with him in the picture.......but I give him a pass because he is OBVIOUSLY a wounded soul.....;)

Anyway through all of Laurens dramatic scenes Ive never quite related until recently.

I can't believe im admitting this....

But the last two episodes of the Hills I was overcome with emotion.

Stop with the hysterics, cause its not like I really care that much about "their" lives its just that I realized I had suppressed some emotion from a situation in my life. Watching these last two episodes brought this emotion to the fore front and boy did the water works appear.

Let me explain:

First I have only a few close friends, three of which i call my best friends.... They all mean the WORLD to me, you all probably think Stephanie when i say best friend. Because you know us as bloggers, but I have two others, Amy, Whom I met in High school, and Lindsay whom i met at the same time I met Steph, we met at our Church youth group. In this situation I am speaking of Lindsay. Are we up to speed?? cool.

Lindsay and I have been through alot together. When I say alot i mean ALOT. There are things that she has helped me through that i will forever be grateful for. And there are things that I have walked with her through that NOONE would want to see their best friends have to deal with. She knows EVERYTHING about me. And I her, and she has ALWAYS supported me.


If you watched the last episode of the Hills , im sure you saw Lauren and Heidi talk, (SHOCK i know) and then in the previous episode you saw Lauren say goodbye to Whit. These last two episodes hit me hard, I identified with Lauren in a big way.

There was a time about a year and some months ago that I had to make the decision to create distance between her and I. This decision , now looking back, was for the best....for both of us and I know Lindsay would agree. But it was the hardest sacrifice I have EVER had to make. For almost a whole year we did not speak. It was torture, and the hardest part was knowing that she was suffering.

God was faithful to restore our relationship, and that is the best gift. But during this time Lindsay made the decision to move to another city where her family would all be together. It was the BEST decision for her and her precious family, but it left me heartbroken.

I dont deal well with emotions, I suppress them as often as i can because deep down i think i am REALLY an emotional mess and i think i would explode if i let myself feel them. So when I saw Lauren saying goodbye to Whit It all rushed back.......but I was strong enough to keep it together......however not good enough to hide it from Jason, for a brief moment he took his eyes off the tv to notice i had a look of distress on my face....he pushed, i pushed harder. He dropped it. But last night, when Heidi and Lauren finally had a moment together, I remembered how difficult it was to not be with her, to not have her in my life......and i wasnt strong. Jason was just as shocked as anyone would be..."seriously WHY are you crying" but it had nothing to do with them.

I remembered her calls........and the strength it took to not answer.

I remembered feeling soooo alone. When id struggled and had noone to call.

I remembered when he came home after seeing al........and falling onto the bathroom floor thinking i had lost her friendship forever.

I remembered the instant connection and the "UN-awkwardness" i felt when seeing her for the first time in a year.

I remembered seeing syd for the first time after a year and feeling like she KNEW me still , her aunt tace. :)

I remembered her txting me and telling me she couldn't come see me cause it would be too hard to say goodbye.


I know your not far.......and I know ill see you as often as possible. But I wanted you to know how MUCH you mean to me......and how VERY much i miss you!!

Do you gals have a best friend you miss??

I will win, oh yes i will!!!

Okay so Im really NOT trying to overwhelm you gals and the .5 guys who read this by posting 2 blogs in one day *GASP* but i simply MUST win this prize hosted by the grand pooba......i was drawn to her blog by the name and the picture on her profile because i didnt believe it was possible that anyone elses husbands like to make retarded faces and take self portraits as much as mine does ;).

I want to win.....i am OBESSED with Bath and Body works and i will take out any one (who lives with in 20 miles of me of course) who wins this besides me.....

WATCH YO BACK LADIES!!!

Have I mentioned i hate walmart, well now im creeped out by the people who shop at wal mart

I know i have mentioned before how much i LOATHE Wal mart.... you know the story...long lines, enough lanes to span the entire state of Texas yet no one to work them, incompetent checkers, and lets not forget there are NO baggers which causes the process of checking out that much worse....what kind of place is this people???

Yes, i am the woman who asked my mom in a shocking tone when we were at a grocery store in CO "MOOOM, what are you doing they have people for that?" Little did i know, not every place is like HEB, we get off easy here in sa town!!!

Moving right along, so its a wonder i decided to torture myself once again and brave the world of wal mart. I'm obviously a sadist. okay well maybe not but close. Anyway, i hate to admit my time at wal-mart was not all that bad until it was time to check out. Of course, as usual the checker was not "all there" for some reason i always pick the line that moves the slowest, and ALWAYS has the least amount of people and products in the lane.....kinda like at the bank. But it wasn't really all that that bothered me.....it was the lady that was in my space. You know, that area RIGHT in front and behind you.....

So, I'm in line and all the sudden it started.....first of all I got the feeling that someone was watching me....you know the feeling.....i don't really know how to describe it but you JUST know. Then i notice my son has this look on his face like "Can i help you" this bothers me so i turn, and i kid you not this lady was INCHES from my face!!!

"UM, seriously do i need to demonstrate the dirty dancing explanation of space" was the look i was giving her....it wasn't necessary to explain my thoughts cause they were well written all over my face. So i turn thinking SURELY she got the picture.

NEGATIVE.

When i turn back around to grab my shopping basket and move it forward so as to place my bags in it, AGAIN she is all up in my area.....

WHAT THE EFF LADY??

This time I'm like highly annoyed i say in the most sarcastic voice i can possibly muster "EXCUSE ME"

Lets not forget in between all this mess Ni Ni is screaming to get down, and Logan is dancing around with some plastic candy canes that i told him a BUGILLION times to put down.

"YOUR NOT AN ELF DUDE, PUT THE CANDY CRAP DOWN"

So, I could feel the frustration beginning to rise from my toes.....

I am already a naturally uncomfortable person around people i don't know, so I'm DYING to get out of here....wouldn't you know, i was right... INCOMPETENT CHECKER, not to mention she called Landon a girl.....SERIOUSLY LADY would you dress your sweet lil girl like THIS?? HE is CLEARLY A BOY.

Anyway, after taking about 15 mins checking my products she finally gives me my total. I pay my fifty dollars for wrapping paper (seriously i bought wrapping paper boxes and raffia, and a few cheap picture frames and it was 50 bucks, what has this world come to?? ) I grabbed my shtuff and booked it outta there.

Anyway, that's my story for today.......i think my bloggers block has subsided.

But id like to mention that my followers section is rather anorexic.....someone follow me for Gods sake!!!! I know it will be at the bottom for several days in a row...but you can at least humor me......its embarrassing people!!

Think Back Thursday....

Yes its a repost....so shoot me....I have bloggers block....AGAIN....but this is a good repost!!! The best, cause its about my night at the pat benetar concert....you cant beat that!!!


This is proof that I used to be a good blogger, i used to be comical, i used to have substance.....WHYYYYYYY??? why cant i write??

Oh well, ENJOY how i USED to be....

When I was a tiny tot, my dad was in a band called Renegade......now lets remember that I was born in 79, just one small year short of being born in the raddest, bad to the bonest, bodacious, gnarlyest decade of all time!!!

My Dad is the one with the feathered hair.........hahaha........okay my dad is the one above the guy with the guitar. On the left....refrain from telling me i look just like him minus the mustache....ive heard that enough to make me want to have plastic surgery...i mean hes a DUDE for Santa's sake!!!! (im practicing not using the Lords name in vain.....santa was all i could come up with)

Anyway Renegade was (to me) the coolest band EVER ,as was every other band they (my parents) played in, they even opened for some pretty famous bands back in the day....I always remember trying to get some shut eye, but not really being able to because of the ruckus going on in the other room where they were practicing.

Some of my fav memories are of me and my brother cuttin a rug at the "Texas Tumble Weed" off of 281 which went on to become Jungle Jims and LA weight Loss and now who knows what resides there, and also the club "Sneakers", even just repeating that name is cool .....my point is that it was then that it happened.....I became ADDICTED to 80's music!! Im talking "Men at Work" "The Outfield" "Aha" "A Flock of Seagulls" "Toto" "Banana Rama" "The Bangles" "Billy Idol" Seriously I could go on and on and on....for days....really.....HOWEVER it would be blasphemy to say that any of those 80's artists were my fav.....because they are not.......my FAVORITE all time 80's artist would have to be, HANDS DOWN............wait for it

......................................................................................................................................................................

PAT BENATAR!!!!!!

Now im pretty sure i knew all the words to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by the time i was one, and im pretty sure that i learned to dance watching her in the video "Love is a Battlefield"

so it is no surprise that I would almost PASS OUT when I found out she would be in San Antonio......AND fate would have it my Mom's birthday happened to be coming up.......I thought to myself "Self, you are SOOO taking your mom to the concert for her bday" And that I did!!!!

Here are some pics of us celebrating my mommies bday, I love this pic because Landon decided it was HIS cake and HE was gonna blow out the candles.....and then we re lit it and at least let Mom HELP us blow them out.

Now this particular day, which happened to be this past Sunday....I have never in my life experienced such a wide variation of emotions........the two main emotions i felt on this day would be SEVERE HUMILIATION and INTENSE EXCITEMENT.

Why, you ask, would I have experienced such a broad range of emotions on this particular day?

Well my dear friends, I was asked to do something for a family member that I will

A. never attempt to do again, and

B. Never live down.....

EVER.......not even when I am standing at the pearly white gates of heaven will EVEN the Lord himself let me pass through with out snickering at me and asking me "Dear God WHY would you do such a thing?"

WHAT IS IT ALREADY STACI.....you are obviously dying to know....

Yes, I admit, I dressed up as Hannah Flippin Montanna for a young child's bday party and lip sync'd to songs which I hate to admit I know the names of so I wont post them on here.

I digress....why do I digress?? Because I really do not want to talk about it....in fact i am feeling like locking myself in a closet right now.......or crying.......and NO i WILL NOT show you pictures.....you will have to solicit some member of my family for those which I am SURE they will be willing to show you since i am MOST POSITIVE they got a good kick out of it.

No really im not trying to be ugly, because i would do anything to make my family happy, but make no mistake, this one is going down in the history books as the ONLY time Staci EVER did a Hannah Montanna Impression.

MOVING ON to the the ladder, BETTER part of my day.......SO I jetted out of the Bday party as fast as my britches could carry me, and headed home to get ready for the CONCERT OF MY LIFE. Or should I say the SECOND BEST concert of my life, because the first time I saw Pat Benatar was with my Mom and my dear friend Holly Yanta who passed away in a car accident in 1999, and NOTHING will ever replace the memories I have of that night. Here is a pic of me and my momma before we left......

And here is a pic of our ticket into the Municipal Auditorium to watch the show......

The night started off with the opener Omar Lopez, He my friends was amazing!!! He was this electric violin player with a full band to back him up.....AND two awesome backup singers or opera singers or Indian inspired singers whatever you want to call them....sorry the singing was more than i could handle at times, speaking of more than i could handle.....his keyboard player.....OMG or as my blogger friend Heather would say "OH MY STARS" when my eyes lingered long enough from the amazingness of Omar Lopez to get a glimpse of his key boardist I about died from lauging so dang hard.....

Basically, since i have no picture ill just tell you that he looked like he was right from season 6 of American Idol, because he was the SPITTIN IMAGE of SANJIA (spelling?) and lest you think i am kidding, look up Omar Lopez on youtube, listen to his amazingness and dont drink anything when your watching it cause i guarantee you, you will die from hysterics!!! My mom and I must have turned to each other about a million times and made some comment such as "Man, Sanjia is REALLY rockin out" I mean seriously, if you look in the slightest, like him, PLEASE cut your hair!!!!

Then came Pat and Neil....and I just cannot TELL YOU how much they rocked!!! I mean really, I could only dream of having a voice like hers.....especially for however many years shes been rockin that voice.....and the talent level of her hubby on the guitar is JUST RIDICULOUS!!!! I sang along to every tune, and danced around......boy did i dance!!! It was FABULOUS just FABULOUS!!! The best part was when she sang "Hell is for Children" OH MAN if yall know this song I wont even have to explain what part im talkin about (and im still not going to explain because if you dont know, your just not cool enough to be my friend) but when she sings that one part at the end........i got gooseys.....HOW ??? How does anyone scream like that?

Anyhoo.....I thoroughly enjoyed myself and my moms company, and seeing the smile on her face when she got YET ANOTHER Neil Giraldo pick to add to her collection of concert picks (how do i get such luck please tell me?? My mom has a pick from the flippin PURPLE RAIN TOUR that prince himself handed her, a pic from Neil Shaun of Journey, AND two Neil Giraldo pics) was enough to last me a life time!!!!

Now dont be too disappointed when i tell you I dont really have any pics from the show...i know i know how could that be?? Well the camera Nazi resides in the Municipal Auditorium, no really after I pulled out just a tinsie lil phone she about bit my head off, AND even our phones did not do them justice.(Pat and Neil or Spider what ever you wanna call him, and YES we are on a first name basis....well not really, but a girl can dream) But I can say that they looked and sounded amazing. All in all it was an amazing night for which i will always cherish!!! And so from now until i decide you've (yes i said you) had enough, my blog will only be playing 80's music!!!

Ta Ta

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM US!!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Ive been following....

The Caylee Anthony disappearance case, and I am sad to hear that they may have found her body.

I feel for the family....may her precious lil soul rest in peace.

Wall Art Fun!!

Okay Ive had several comments about how to make the wall art that i posted in the previous post so i will share the wealth!!! Lol

I must admit though this is NOT my creation, it is my friend Shannon's she is a fellow blog designer, and she is also very crafty!! I figured i would make a go at it and see if i could make it look as good as hers.

She did not however add a picture to hers....so i guess i am slightly crafty....okay I'm REALLY crafty, I'm just trying to be modest....its not working!! ;)

Here are the steps from her blog.....

Supplies:
Canvas
Scrapbook Paper (the thicker papers work best but I used the thinner ones too)
Modge Podge (I used matte finish, but they have gloss as well)
Sponge Brush (about 1-2 inches wide)
Acrylic Craft Paint (little bottles at the craft store)
Hair Dryer
Scissors/paper cutter

I bought store made canvases at a craft store. The canvases I bought were about 2" thick and they were 8x8. Canvases come in all sorts of sizes. I used the 8x8 because of the space I was filling, but I think 12x12 would be awesome too! (and then you wouldn't even have to cut the paper down!) I painted the sides of the canvas a dark brown.

Then I picked out scrapbook paper that I liked and that matched the decor and colors I was looking for. Next I trimmed the papers down to fit on the 8x8 canvas.

Then with my modge podge and sponge brush in hand I began to put it all together. Using the sponge brush I coated the face of the canvas with modge podge, placed the paper on top and pressed down firmly everywhere to make sure that it stuck.

Let this dry for about 5 minutes. Next, using the sponge brush, I put a thin layer of modge podge on the paper. (make sure you cover it completely) I also put a layer of modge podge on the sides over the paint as well. As it dries the paper may begin to wrinkle or bubble a bit. That's where your handy dandy hair dryer comes in! Once your piece is no longer sticky to the touch, use your hair dryer to blast the bubbles and wrinkles with heat and smooth them down with your fingers at the same time. (it gets a little hot!)

That's it! Pretty easy! New art for your walls! Now go get craftin'!!

Just so yall know I (Staci) bought 12x 12 canvases at Michael's for like 4 bucks a piece (they are originally 6 but go on sale frequently)

After I let the modge podge and paper dry then i modgepodged the back of the 5x7 picture I had and placed it in the center of the canvas.

Then I modge podged the front of it and dried it with the hair dryer just the same as the paper.

Then with sticky ribbon (by Martha stewart) I lined the picture and modge podged that as well and WHA LA!!!It was a MODGE PODGE party people!!!

Oh and make sure that even if you get a 12x 12 piece of paper AND canvas that you STILL trim the edges......cause sometimes paper makers get overexcited and don't measure correctly!!!

Have fun, and comment with a link if you do one....I've got more to do this week!!

Thanks to Shannon for her fab idea!!

Now that i got that off my chest....

Here are the Christmas Decor pics i promised...



First things first, with the holiday stress i decided i would try making wall decor that my good blog design buddy Shannon suggested a while back, she laid it out step by step and it was sooo easy, so now i have something that is minimal cost for the sweet ladies in my life. i added a picture to mine of me and my boys and hung it in my freshly painted half bath down stairs...cute huh??



Here's the tree.....the boys didn't help with this one cause they have their own up stairs in their lil living area next to their rooms, i let them do what they want with it, and this one keeps with the colors and theme of my living room....

Here's lil man, i couldn't resist a pic of him, hes too cute!!

What i don't have pictures of was "Mr. Grumpy pants"putting up the tree, who HATES putting up the Christmas decorations (he made sure i heard him say that at LEAST a dozen times) Gotta love him!! He sure does work hard putting up those lights outside.....

T-pa even came over to help......this scares me

Logan thought it would be fun to be up there until he was actually UP THERE, soon after he was down on the ground helping out where it was safe!!

Isn't this lil Santa cute??

Here are our stockings, we have no fire place so this must do.....

Here's the ever famous nativity scene Landon helped me layout, and before you ask YES there is a wise man missing, he is headless ;) apparently mommy wasn't wise before she handed a 1 year old a willow tree thinking he WOULD'NT throw it last year, he went through a phase back then.....but not to worry, he's having super glue surgery and should make an appearance soon!!

And finally the main attraction, our house all lit up!!




more to come!!

A letter to :You know who you are.....

So when i asked yall to inspire me BOY did you, i even have people posting comments on my facebook page!! You guys are FAB, i have ALOT to write about now.....

My super fabulous blog buddy Brit told me I should write a letter....she said to anybody and about anything so i figured id write to someone im frustrated with....if this person reads it, they read it....if they dont OH WELL at least ill get it off my chest....it always helps me to write (or in this case type) it out and most of the time i end up throwing it away....does anyone else do that?? This time im just gonna say it and i dont care how mad they get.....

It may be immature and maybe it should just be said...but right now im too upset to "talk" and they prob dont care enough about my life to read this blog anyway so why not??


Dear You Know Who You Are,

I am writing this letter in regards to our conversation this past week concerning your feelings.....

Frankly, im tired of concerning myself with them....ive done nothing BUT for the majority of our friendship, even to the point of sacrificing my own so that you could be unburdend. I've held your hand through sickness and pulled you up from off the ground more times than I can count. Honestly, I was happy to.....because I care, because you are important. That is what im required to do as your friend. But im not sure you understand that.

In my oppinon this is not a give and take relationship, I give and you take. Ive had to ask myself many times over the last few days if i am making the right decision "createing distance" and for me, I think i am. Ive only ever reached out and asked for time, or that you would care enough to ASK if i was struggling rather than making snide sort of comical comments (im just not sure if your the "good staci" or the "bad staci") or shoveing it in my face out right. Im not sure why it bothers you so much HOW i live my life since your not really in it. Regardless of how you feel the only persons i am truly accountable to is God , Jason and myself.....and you need not worry, i got that covered.

But, for me, i feel the need to tell you that over the past year of my life I have never felt closer to God and to my husband. There is no need for you to bring up how i "used" to act because that is no longer an issue. I have found balance in my life and YES i may still struggle, in fact, friend, I will ALWAYS struggle ....because i will never be perfect. I will fall a bajillion more times and you know what im finding out?? I am finding out that, that is completely normal and okay. Because as long as i am authentic with God, and the people that matter, about my struggles then i am on the right track. And as far as im concerned, anyone who thinks differently or decides they want to inflict judgement into my life can kiss it!!! I have no time or desire to waste my life worrying what others think of the decisions ive made.

It is sad that you, instead of just admitting your wrong, would take a struggle of mine and use it to hurt me.

I know ive made mistakes, im not claiming to be perfect all i wanted was a friendship to include support. One that includes time spent, because otherwise whats the point?? You may finally have the opened ended invatation that you have worked towards for a long time. But that doesnt mean you put others aside so you can "get yours".....its selfish and its not what i deserve.

I am sorry if i hurt your feelings, i just stated the truth.

Im angry, i feel after all i have endured over the years i have the right to be.

For now, just let me be.

from, me

Inspired

You gals are great...thanks for giving me stuff to blab about!!

Ill go in order

Jill asked:

What is your most favorite holiday tradition?


I would have to say the FOOD is the fav holiday tradition, i mean who doesnt like a turkey dinner with stuffing and yams and cranberry sauce?? I swear i gained AT LEAST 7 lbs over thanksgiving, i flippin ate my weight in stuffing ;) I absolutely LOVE yams, but they simply MUST have 5 lbs of marshmellows on em or they arent worth eating.

As a bonus: What is your favorite Holiday Memory?

Oh this is such a difficult question to answer, i swear my short term memory gets worse as the years go on.....but i guess as time goes on i will remember, cause my long term is pretty darn good LOL!!

I would have to say i have several....

Like the time my friends and I snuck out (mere, me and cameron) and tp'd Dan Werlings house, and we heard a noise and ran like the wind only to be slowed down by Cameron tripping over the lights around the driveway.....funny stuff....damn those christmas lights, that should be a safety violation!!! I wouldnt say this was a FAVORITE memory, but anytime spent with good friends is a favorite time of mine. I had a blast when i was a kid, so care free......

Then there was the time Me and Lindz and Marcus made ginger bread cookies for family and friends, Marcus is an artist and i remember him making a picachu cookie....im sure i made a comment about how that had nothing to do with Christmas...but we had the lil red hots, and picachu has a red nose....it inspired him. i wish i was so easily inspired, then i might blog more ;)

Or when I went sking for the first time my jr year in HS with Jason's family, and tried to ski without lessons, going down a blue when you've never skied before is NOT a smart idea friends.....lets just say ive never done such perfect cartwheels before.....if i didnt know any better id say there might have been people at the bottom holding up signs with perfect 10's when i finally came to a stand still.....although my landing was a bit off....if id landed on my feet i would have raised my arms above my head but that just wasnt the case here. ;) Nooo i pretty much cussed the entire rest of the way down hill...and at some point just decided to take them off and walk down....

I could literally go on and on and on about all the wonderful things ive experienced during the holidays....its one of the best times of the year. I get to see my families come together and fellowship, eat lots of great food and open presidents (this is what we called them when we were lil) but best of all I get to see my boys believe in something....and all the magic and wonder that comes along with that.....yes santa is fun, but teaching them the TRUE meaning of Christmas is so important. This year will be the first year that Landon will be able to truly understand what Christmas is all about. I cant wait to tell him about Jesus' birth.


Tomorrow i will write a letter.....and show you pics of our Christmas decor..

I got nothin

Somebody call the whambulence.....im feeling sorry for myself....

I cant quite figure out why, but i have bloggers block......its killin me smalls.....

somebody give me something to write about...QUICK, i cant take it anymore....everyone else has fabulous pictures and stories....I GOT NOTHIN!! NOTHIN I TELL YA!!!

Here is your homework....comment me with a question, or a topic....that way i can have something to think about, or blab about.

PLEASE.......PRETTY PLEASE with sugar on top?

New Holiday Card Templates

I just did some more Holiday cards that are for sale if your interested.....

Heres the deal, you pay for the DESIGN ONLY, and then take it to your printer of choice....ie Wal-Mart, Wal-greens, Vista Print.....whom ever you choose.

The card templates (pre-designed) are only 12 bucks!!!

The custom (you decide how you want it to look) designed cards are 20 bucks!!

check out the two latest templates!!!





Again you pay us 12 dollars and we send you the high resolution file in which you take to your printer of choice.

**** Update

Vista print is who we recommend you get your holiday cards printed with, its all done online. You just take the file we send u, upload it to their site and you can purchase 40 cards WITH envelopes for only 9.99 if that is not a deal i dont know what is!!!

Get in line before the holidays pass you by!!!