Thursday, January 29, 2009

Staci's Heart

Just felt like expressing some of the things on my heart, for no particular reason actually, just because.

Because i feel like it GAH!!

Someday ill be able to reflect on how i was feeling during this time in my life. I think that will be fun....i guess that's why i blog, for me, for my kids.....so they can look back and have a description of what they were like, how they were feeling....at any given time.

Anyway here it goes:

Staci's Heart is dwelling on.........

1. Baby Grace and her last words to her damnable parents (if you can even call them that) my heart aches for the innocent children who are brutally beaten and sometimes killed by the only people they can trust. Havent thought about this for some time, but now that i have read this it will be on my mind all night, thanks alot self.

2. the three sets of under ware my three year old has gone through today and its not even noon....this is gonna be a looong day. Landon is potty trained now YEEEY!! I knew it would happen!!

3. The stress wrinkles on my husbands sweet forehead....i just want to kiss them away :( Still has em, now its not so much do to losing his job again as it is actually DOING his job. :)

4. The job my husband just accepted, back to wachovia....or wells.....will it last, will it provide enough income....worry worry woe Still there, thank God, got a promotion to Department Manager!! Yippie

5. Do I yell too much at my kids when I'm frustrated? Is it really better than swatting their hineys when they are disobedient? I need to learn patience. Still workin on this one :)

6. My lack of sleep lately.....whats up with that?? I'm exhausted but i cant sleep. Still kinda restless, wow, its been that long huh? maybe i outta get that checked??

7. I need to stick to my workouts....I'm such a slacker. PSH, man i REALLY need to be more consistant.

8.My friend that I've known since fifth grade, whom i used to spend almost everyday with....whom i considered to be one of my best friends.......he's getting married and i didn't find out from him....why do we loose touch with those that mean the most to us? Got to go to the wedding, it was wonderful to see him, even reconnected with a bunch of long time friends, just wish i could go back and change things....

9.Why do i dream about things i wish i wouldn't dream about? Why cant i forget..... still cant forget

10. I miss u. :(`` I still miss u

11. Why am i so insecure about my body? I hate my body... still hate my body



I'm done....

13 comments:

Debra said...

Staci,

Why do I always read your post and want to come and give you a hug? I love your transparency...that's for sure!

I just said a prayer over you...Isaiah 41:10 "do not be discoouraged or dismayed for I am the Lord your God and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"...I'm placing you there, my sister. Feel secure knowing they are such capable hands to wash away anything that hurts...doubts...insecurities, etc.

You are loved :)

Jill said...

I haven't been sleeping lately, either. I'll go to bed at like 8, and then toss and turn until 11... and then wake up all through the night. I'm not all about it!

Toni said...

I can join you in several of the things you listed there, i hate my body, i slack at working out, I always question if I yell at my kids too much, I too have lost touch it seems with my best friend.

I will get you more followers :) and no it's not shallow at all b/c if it is then I am shallow and I don't like to think that I am so we will go with it is not shallow

Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem said...

I'm with ya on #5. I feel like I'm losing my temper with the kids WAY too often. Bad, bad mommay!

Lori said...

Staci,
I found you through Debra, and stopped over to say hi! You have such a lovely family! I hope you have a Happy Thursday! Stop by anytime.

Keyona said...

Ok, I'm a follower so keep on bloggin'. :o)

Lori said...

Hi Staci,
I found you through Debra! Just wanted to stop by and say hi! Cheer up we all worry it will get better! you have a beautiful family. Take Care!

mamas smitten said...

Hi Staci,
I just wanted you to know that you have more followers than you know! My family and friends who don't blog follow you. They link to you from my blog. That reminds me ! Have you picked up the award I have for you! I'ts a luvly award. I left a comment on your last post. BTW, I think your beautiful! Those pics of you and your fam! Oh my gosh! I just didn't want to share those thoughts before cuz I didn't want you to think I was a CRAZY stalker! And if you haven't noticed I don't have many pics of myself on my blog. We all have insecurities :(. I know you'll feel better soon!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

#4 - Given what I know, if they hired him, they plan on keeping him. People are feeling pretty positive.

And regarding all the others... I so know where you're coming from.

I wish I could answer/fix it all...

and - I would KILL to have your body.

Staci said...

thank you ladies, all of you for your thoughts and sweet comments, u def lift my spirits!!!

Blogalicious Designs said...

I love you!! :)

Rosie and Derek said...

OK, I'm following too. :) And I can totally relate to lots of your list, you are not alone!

Tatersmama said...

OMG...Why didn't you tell me that I wasn't actually a follower? I thought I was... and because I always check in on you, I guess I just "assumed". Sorry... :-(

You're too hard on yourself sweetheart. I love you just as you are, and I gotta tell you, I'm darned fussy about who I care about. Me and God love you just fine...
*big hugs*