My boys are far from the age of "awakening" but yesterdays Oprah show really had me all emotional about what is to come.....
(yes i actually watched it *gasp* i know)
Anyone else watch it??
First of all the whole "master...." i cant even finish the word, issue sorta ticked me off.....
I don't think it is "normal or natural" for a four year old to do that....I'M SORRY!! Can i get an AMEN??
But when they started the segment on "teen sex" i was overwhelmed with emotion, and pleased at how the therapist handled the FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS who thought they were "ready" to have sex.
Maybe its because of what i went through.....(if you aren't familiar with my "superman" story you need to be) but man oh man did i have a very hard time getting through that segment. I wanted to jump right through the TV and on to that set and shake those children....screaming DON'T DO IT....SAVE YOUR SELF!!!
If you have a teen child watching this episode would be great for you, because it gives you a series of questions to ask your child about sex.
It seemed to become a WHOLE new monster after they were asked VERY specific questions.
The one segment and question i was most intrigued by was when they asked :
"how long do you plan to stay together?"
My heart just broke into a million pieces when the young man started to answer......first he said
"well, a long time"
and then (here's the kicker) he was asked more specifically:
"how long do you consider to be "a long time" " and he answered
"6 months to a year"
I watched as the young girls whole demeanor changed....you could tell she was heart broken.....and i found myself weeping and answering for her when SHE was asked "how long did you expect to be together after making this BIG decision to give a piece of yourself to him?"
Come on ladies....we all know what we were thinking when we made that decision......
forever
maybe some of you didn't, especially when you were at a mature age where you understood. But when you are a child, you think love is forever....i know this because this is what i thought.
I'm sure i am not the only mom who hopes and prays that her sons wait....but if they choose not to i will make SURE my sons know how BIG of a decision it is.
That it will effect them and their partner for the rest of their lives.....
that they will be allowing a piece of themselves to stay with that person forever.....
that they should ask themselves AND their partner what the expectations are afterwards, what they would do if they got pregnant, contracted an std or how long they expect to be together.......
Anyway, as i said....my boys are still very young.....but i am prayerfully preparing myself for this issue.
Father i need your guidance for whats to come.
i dont want them to grow up..... :(
8 comments:
so sad.... I'm pretty sure my cousin at 12 had more "experience" than I did when I was 21! It's all in the parenting. You'll be a great parent and teach them that it's worth more than the media shows.
I don't usually have time to watch Oprah, but sometimes, I will read the segment transcripts on her website, and I happened to catch this yesterday.
It was VERY interesting! And so interesting to see how the girl started to realize that she wasn't really ready, and that when she thought they were going to be together for a long time, she meant forever. He meant 6 months.
I hate to tell you this but being in nursing since 1977, people masturbate from early, early to as old as 108! I have seen it myself so yes, it really happens. Sex is a basic human instinct. I felt really bad for the girl yesterday, I hope she waits a long time (not just 6 months!). I don't know how old your boys are, but I bet you their interest in sex is higher than you would ever suspect, it is just part of life. Keep your eyes open, keep communication open. Men view sex much differently than women do, it is no different with boys as seen yesterday.
Oh man! I try not to think of this issue too much because everytime I do I have a breakdown.
Been there, done that as a teenager. I was heartbroken...more than once :-( I just pray for guidance and discernment to know how to raise a daughter who will know better. I think it's awesome that you're set on teaching your boys to be respectful of themselves and young women. The reason so many boys are like those on Oprah is because they were never sat down and taught what's appropriate and what isn't, and how easily you can hurt a girl. Fathers play the BIGGEST role in all of this.
I don't have cable anymore but if I did I would watch Oprah. Big important issues here. I don't have teenagers so I can't imagine what a challenge it can be at times.
Oprah's very popular among women in Saudi Arabia. I wonder if they would air this particular show, though...
Sorry, that was totally random. And I have a feeling that between now and the time my son hits puberty, society will once again change their view of kids having sex. I'm hoping not to be living in the US when that happens. Or Europe.
Amen sista, I totally agree with you! (Even though I didn't see the show...)
I think the difference between girls and boys is emotional versus physical. It broke my heart that she thought a boyfriend at 14 should be forever.
Although I did not have sex that young, I am so thankful that I did not rush into marriage at a young age. Growing up in a small town, I saw everything from girls getting pregnant in high school, getting pregnant after high school to bring their BF home from college, to high school sweethearts getting married and living happily.
Our brains are not mature enough until we are in our early 20s to make those life long decisions. Somewhere I read that reasoning is the last thing to develop in a human brain at that age.
Besides teaching girls about their sexuality, I think the Cinderella stories should be done away with. I stayed with a first boyfriend for way too long in college because I thought he had to be the one.
As far as masturbation is concerned. . .
Viva la masturbation! :-)
Chrissy T
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