Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Dont wrestle WORSHIP

Do NOT wrestle.....WORSHIP


Oh goodness, if only i took that advice all the time id be a lot better off and a lot less stressed......


This morning i decided to look back over my journals for inspiration from the time I've spent with God....how wonderful it is to be renewed by something you learned months or even years ago.....to be reminded of what God once said or taught is a blessing.....


I'm often frustrated with myself because i feel like my walk or my character is constantly on this roller coaster of ups and downs and twists and turns. I'm consistently wrestling with myself....my thoughts....my desires when really all i need to do is lay it all at the feet of my provider, protector, comforter, and ask him to carry me through.....i need to WORSHIP.....there are lots of ways, my worship way of choice is through song, and prayer.....and meditation on his words.....


There was this time in my life where i was really struggling, and i was sooo frustrated, because i felt like i was really giving it my all, really worshiping but still in so much pain....I cried out to God "WHY, God....give me a word" I began to read his word and I was amazed at how what i was reading seemed to match up with my situation.....I began to feel COMFORT, PROTECTED and a HOPE that i hadn't felt in a while.....


in Romans 8:6, 8:9 and 8:14 God reassured me that I was controlled by the spirit, and the decisions i made were the right decisions no matter what, because (8:14) those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.....


It goes on to reassure me that I should not be afraid or frustrated with my decisions (8:15) for i did not receive a spirit that makes me a slave again to fear but i received the spirit of son ship.....


And then it helped me to understand (8:17) that because i am a child of God i am i share in his SUFFERINGS in order that I may ALSO share in his Glory.....


As i read all this i began to feel uplifted and then when i continued i was FLOORED at how clearly He spoke to me......


Remember the feeling of FRUSTRATION... well it just so happened in this version i was reading.....


(8:20) For the creation (me) was subjected to FRUSTRATION not by its own choice but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation (me) itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.


WOW.

I have been dealing for years with a spirit of rebellion....what i mean by that is I am consistently doing things that are not honoring to me, my children, my husband, and most importantly MY GOD. I become overwhelmingly frustrated with myself and repetitively try to accomplish change on my own......

I wrestle.....

Do NOT wrestle, WORSHIP.....for we are not wrestling with flesh and blood.....

I have to remember to lean completely on God to get me through these times, i can totally relate to the story of the Israelites.....they have gone through the same struggles, ups and downs if you will, since their exodus from Egypt.. When they were fully worshipping the Lord....always leaning on Him he would help them.....when they became self sufficient, disobedient, REBELLIOUS, they would once again have pain and suffering.

When they trusted God they defeated their enemies, when they didn't their enemies defeated them..... (Joyce Meyer)


Around this time I had read a book by Joyce Meyer and it really helped to encourage me....that I will one day overcome the things in my life that weigh me down....insecurities, rebelliousness, frustrations...etc etc. It really helped me to have a list of things to focus on.....maybe it will help you as well.

The amount of time the changes in your heart require are dependent on:

1. How long it takes us to get into agreement with God that we DO have the problem he says we have.

2. How long it takes us to stop making excuses and blaming it on someone else ( i am reeeal good at this one) :)

3. How long we spin our wheels so to speak trying to change ourselves....

4. How much time we spend studying His word waiting and worshiping Him, truly believing that He is working in us all the while we seek Him.

So, I am going to make that my saying today.....Don't Wrestle, WORSHIP.....

i am going to try to remember that I cannot win the battles on my own, but only through Christ who strengthens me..... (Philippians 4:13)





2 comments:

THE Stephanie said...

Love it! And love you :)

Tiffany Crawford said...

I encourage you to enter into a FAST and seek Him. FAST for your frustrations, your insecurities, your rebellion.

I always wondered how do we really re-capture those moments when we first come into our reltionship with Jesus. Those moments of excitement and passion, those moments where we KNOW that God is real and alive and working....

As I've grown I've learned it's through fasting... Real-don't-eat-for-days Fasting.

I'm praying for you...