I have been attending clinicals for the last 9 weeks or so at a wonderful nursing home and today came time to say goodbye because we are moving on to quarter two of nursing school..... :(
I must admit at first i loathed going. Not because of the people, just because of the situation as a whole.... These once vibrant, beautiful souls are now trapped in bodies that do not work, and many of them cant perform most activities of daily living, soo they loose their pride somewhere between the diaper change at 0 800 and the shower at 1100 while multiple student nurses observe for the sake of learning.....all the while the family they have left sit on their asses at home, work or what have you and try to forget......its just the worst feeling in the world to witness such precious souls waste away with noone to love on them.
I just wanted to scoop em all up and show them they are loved. :(
Today I watched as a woman took some of her last breaths....when noone was around I made sure to tell her "it was okay to go" and that " Jesus loved her" I just wanted to sit there all day and hold her hand......so she wasnt alone. UGH!!
I also made sure to give my favorite patient a big hug and let him know I would surely be back to visit soon.....
although i am super duper excited about next quarter and med surg....im super duper sad to be leaving my clinical site.......
today was bitter sweet.